Post by wileyk209 on Jul 26, 2020 22:30:31 GMT -5
Did another one of my fanmakes of a classic "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?" episodes that incorporates the Muppet Babies, the ones from the 1984-1991 animated series, like I already did for "Mine Your Own Business" and "Decoy for a Dognapper". But this time, I did one of my favorites, "Never Ape an Ape Man!" And because it takes place on a movie set, I also make it kind of similar to one of my favorite "Muppet Babies" episodes, "This Little Piggy Went to Hollywood" from 1987. Here we go...
SCOOBY-DOO, WHERE ARE YOU?
And JIM HENSON’S MUPPET BABIES
In: “NEVER APE AN APE MAN”
We start on a large outdoor on-location movie set on a cliff. A sign reads “THE APE MAN OF FORBIDDEN MOUNTAIN.” We see a man, John Maxwell, standing with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Baby Kermit, Baby Piggy (applying powder puff), Baby Gonzo, Baby Fozzie, Baby Scooter, Baby Skeeter and Baby Rowlf. Nanny is with them, too, but a stage light obscures her face.
Velma: Gee, this is wonderful, Uncle John. (reads the poster) “The Ape Man of Forbidden Mountain.” What a groovy title for a picture.
Shaggy: It sure was swell of you to give all of us jobs as extras.
Baby Piggy: I know! I can’t believe I’m finally going to be a movie star!
Maxwell: Kids, I’m the grateful one. I need you because the local people won’t work in this film.
Baby Piggy: So I can play all the parts! Yippee-skippee!
Velma: Why is that, Mr. Maxwell?
Maxwell: Well, the local people are very superstitious.
At another area, as Maxwell speaks, Scooby-Doo and Baby Animal have found a big chest labeled “Makeup kit.” They poke their heads in, and Scooby comes out with big fangs and a mustache. Baby Animal has a top that makes him look like Frankenstein’s monster. They both pretend-growl as a laugh track is heard.
Scooby: Huh?
Baby Animal: Laugh track! Yabababababababa!
Maxwell: They believe an old legend about a REAL Ape Man. They say HE’S the one that burned down the old mansion years ago.
We see a big gray simian-type, obviously the Ape Man, poke behind a trailer.
Baby Kermit: (to the camera) Am I the only one who notices that big ape there?
We see Scooby’s paw tap Shaggy’s shoulder, and when Shaggy turns around, he sees Scooby wearing big glasses, fangs and a top hat, making him look like Mr. Hyde. Baby Animal has large fangs on and a wild wig.
Scooby: How do I look?
Shaggy: How do you look? I don’t see any difference in you AND Animal! (he and Scooby and Animal laugh)
Maxwell: We’ve had three reports that the Ape Man has been seen up here at night.
Fred: They’ve seen a real Ape Man?
Baby Gonzo: A real Ape Man? COOL!!!
Back at the Makeup kit chest, Scooby’s head comes out again, this time with big mouse ears on. Baby Animal has rabbit ears.
Scooby: Real Ape Man? (gulps)
Shaggy: (looks at his watch) I just remembered a dental appointment back in town.
Scooby: (still with mouse ears) Me too!
Baby Fozzie: (wearing a Groucho nose and glasses) Me three!
Baby Skeeter: Since when do you wear a watch, Shaggy?
Daphne: Stop it, you guys. It’s only a superstition, right, Uncle John?
Maxwell: Right. The only Ape Man on this mountain is my stunt man Carl.
A sports-style whistle blows, and we see it came from a cameraman. We see a beautiful woman in a cave-type outfit at one side of a bridge.
Cameraman: Anytime you’re ready, J.J.
Baby Piggy: (now applying powderpuff) I’m ready, too!
Baby Kermit: Uh, Piggy, being an extra is not much. Extras don’t get to act. They don’t even have lines! They’re just part of the background.
Baby Piggy: I know, Kermie, but it’s a start!
Baby Kermit: Sheesh!
Nanny: OK, kids, I’m going to go talk with the producer about the movie. Be good for your mystery-solving friends.
All Babies: Bye, Nanny!
Later, we see the gang standing near John with his megaphone.
John: (into megaphone) All right, Miss Mint, you just run onto the rope bridge, OK?
Mint: (Southern Belle accent) Right, Mr. Maxwell.
Maxwell: That’s our star, Candy Mint. And you’ll see Carl in the Ape Man suit. (into megaphone) OK, roll ‘em!
Candy runs onto the rope, and comes across the Ape Man, growling. We also see stock footage of an ape roaring.
Shaggy: Man, he could be for real. What a beast!
Scooby: (with a frightened expression) Ryeah, beast!
Baby Rowlf: He’s even nastier than King Kong!
Maxwell: Great! He’s even better than he was in rehearsal! Now watch Candy on the bridge.
Scooby and Gonzo briefly cover their eyes, but then look again.
Maxwell: Watch the Ape Man jump up and down on the bridge and try to spill Candy.
Baby Kermit: And we’ll pick up the mess of candy afterwards.
Maxwell: That’s not what I meant.
The Ape Man begins shaking the bridge with his hands.
Maxwell: No, Carl! Stop it! That’s not in the script!
Mint: (shaking around) Help!
Scooby does his distinctive gulp.
Shaggy: I don’t think he heard you!
Baby Fozzie: Maybe he can’t hear well in that costume!
Maxwell: He heard me, but that ape is not my stuntman.
Mint: Somebody make him stop!
Scooby: (preparing to take off) Scooby-Doo! (dashes off)
Baby Gonzo: And Gonzo! (follows Scooby across the bridge)
Mint: Help, help!
At the other side, the Ape Man growls, and Scooby growls back.
Shaggy: Scooby, steady the bridge!
Candy Mint runs across back to the side with the cameras.
Fred: She made it!
Shaggy: And Scooby and Gonzo did it!
Scooby and Gonzo hold on to the bridge as it continues wobbling. It breaks, and Scooby and Gonzo fall.
Scooby and Baby Gonzo: Uh-oh!
They bounce off a branch, and both take turns punching the Ape Man’s nose and stomach. Each time they take a bounce, they continue hitting the Ape Man. On the last bounce, Scooby shoves the Ape Man off of the mountain. He and Gonzo bounce on the branch again, and then land in a net held out by Fred and Kermit.
Fred: Good show, Scooby!
Kermit: You also did great, Gonzo!
Baby Gonzo: Maybe I can be a Stunt Weirdo!
Shaggy: You sure sent that, uh, thing packing.
Baby Fozzie: Yeah? Where’s he going to?
Velma: You two were so brave.
Scooby: Awww, Scooby-dooby-doo.
Baby Gonzo: Gonzo-weirdo-weirdo!
Other Babies: (annoyed) Gonzo!
Later, at a trailer, we see the Scooby gang and babies again. They are with Mr. Maxwell once again.
Maxwell: That was a daring rescue, Scooby and Gonzo.
Shaggy: They were better than Laddie and, uh, I can’t think of any other weirdoes.
Fred: What do we do now, Mr. Maxwell?
Baby Piggy: Hopefully write a big part for moi?
Maxwell: No, find my missing stuntman, Carl. This is his trailer.
Daphne: Maybe we can pick up a clue to where Carl might be.
We fade to inside the trailer. John Maxwell looks through some drawers.
Maxwell: I’m worried. I didn’t put much stock in that Ape Man legend until now.
Baby Scooter opens a cabinet and finds…
Baby Scooter: Hmm, oil-based clay, slush-cast latex, a special set of paints? Looks like stuff for a special effects make-up artist!
Scooby: Hmm…
He opens another cabinet to see the mask of the Ape Man on a wig stand. He gasps and shuts it again. He comes up near a chest, his teeth chattering and pointing.
Shaggy: Hey. Scooby, is that you acting scared?
Scooby: Ape Man’s head!
The laugh track is heard again.
Baby Kermit: (to Fred) Let’s also solve the mystery of that laugh track!
Maxwell: Ape Man’s head? Oh, that’s just part of the costume.
Scooby: Phew! (a knocking sound is heard from in the trunk) Huh?
Scooby knocks “Shave and a Haircut” on the lid, and whoever’s in it knocks back the last two notes.
Scooby: HUH?
Shaggy: Hey, that’s a good trick! How’d you do it? Did Fozzie help?
Scooby: I don’t know!
Baby Fozzie: Me, neither!
Shaggy: Then there must be somebody in the trunk.
Baby Fozzie: That’s what I’m afraid of!
Fred: Come on, Scooby. Open it.
Scooby: Ruh-uh. Not me!
Fred: Yes, you.
Velma: Now, Scooby, don’t go into one of your acts.
Baby Rowlf: (singing) And Scooby-Doo, if you come through,
You’re gonna have yourself a Scooby Snack!
Baby Gonzo: That’s a fact!
Velma: Enough monkey business, guys. Scooby, just open the trunk.
Baby Piggy: You too, Fozzie!
Scooby: OK.
He opens it, and he and Fozzie look, gulp, and shut it again.
Scooby: It’s a MAN!
Shaggy: It’s a man?
Baby Fozzie: A man in an ape suit!
Maxwell: It must be Carl the stuntman! (walks over to the trunk)
They open it, and we see Carl lying there without his Ape Man mask on; he has a bald head.
Baby Piggy: That’s it, mystery’s over, he’s the monster! Let’s go back to the movie!
Baby Kermit: Now, Piggy, let’s not jump to conclusions.
Maxwell: What happened?
Carl: (real voice) I came in to dress, and a big hairy animal grabbed me and threw me in the trunk.
Shaggy: Was it the Ape Man?
Carl: Ape Man? What’s going on?
Baby Piggy: Don’t play dumb!
Maxwell: I’ll handle this, Piggy. (to Carl) An Ape Man of some kind sabotaged our shooting and almost hurt Candy.
Carl: The old legend, huh? It must have been him that got me.
Mint: (enters) Oh, Mr. Maxwell? I’m sorry, but I quit until that beast is caught!
Baby Piggy: Then I can play the lead role!
Carl: I’m with her, Mr. Maxwell. I’m quitting, too.
Maxwell: Can’t you wait a few days? I’ll get this mystery cleared up. I’m afraid I’ll have to withdraw my job offer.
Baby Piggy: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Maxwell: It’s just too dangerous now.
Scooby: Yeah-yeah-yeah!
Fred: (as the music builds up) Maybe we can give you a hand in solving this mystery.
Baby Kermit: And me and the other babies will help, too!
Maxwell: Well…
Baby Fozzie and Scooby keep shaking their heads “no.”
Daphne: We can stand guard!
Shaggy: Yeah! Who’s afraid of a big bad ape?
Scooby: I am!
Baby Fozzie: Me too!
We fade over to the mansion set, with the Scooby gang and Muppet Babies relaxing in it.
Fred: OK, gang. Daphne’s uncle let us stay, on the condition we be careful.
Baby Piggy: And we can be extras again! I’m going to get ready!
Baby Piggy runs over her suitcase and begins taking out clothes.
Baby Fozzie: What are you doing, Piggy?
Baby Piggy: I’ve got to find something to wear, do my hair, write my act…
Baby Fozzie: Gee, can I help?
Baby Piggy: Um, no, I don’t think so, Fozzie. This kind of work requires a professional.
Baby Fozzie: I’m a “fropessional!” Uh, hey Kermit, what IS a “fropessional?”
Velma: According to the legend, the Ape Man lives in a secret cave somewhere in the rocks.
Fred: It’s strange how he was smart enough to get rid of that stuntman.
As they talk, the Ape Man listens from outside.
Daphne: There’s something fishy about that.
Shaggy: A dumb Ape Man is bad enough, but one that smart I can live without. Get it? Live without?
Scooby: Me too!
Baby Fozzie: Hey, I’m the one who usually makes the jokes!
Baby Kermit: I think Baby Piggy was right. The Ape Man could’ve just been the stuntman!
Fred: Did you know that this set is built on the ruins of the original old mansion?
Shaggy: Zooks! There should be some good clue-hunting around here.
Baby Gonzo: “Zooks?”
Fred: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s search.
Scooby: Scooby-Doo!
Baby Animal: Animal! Yabababababa!
They all walk down a hallway.
Fred: Keep a sharp eye out for anything that will give us a clue.
Scooby and Baby Animal sniff a half-eaten burger.
Shaggy: Hey, Scooby, Animal, what’s that you found? Somebody left half a hamburger! Hunting clues always makes me hungry.
Fred: Wait! That’s a clue.
Velma: Don’t eat that clue, Shaggy!
Baby Kermit: You’d better not eat it, Animal!
Baby Animal: Sorr-ee.
Shaggy: Huh? Clue?
Scooby: Yeah, roo?
Baby Animal: A clue! A clue!
Velma: (points to burger) See those claw marks? The Ape Man was eating this sandwich.
Daphne: That’s odd. Apes don’t eat meat.
Baby Skeeter: (eying Shaggy) Neither do vegetarians.
Fred: Maybe this Ape Man is more than an ape.
Baby Kermit: Yeah! Maybe he’s really just a man!
Fred: It’s OK, Shaggy. You can eat it.
Shaggy: What? Me eat after an ape? I can’t do it.
Scooby: I will eat it.
Baby Animal: Me too!
They both take a big bite out the burger, then chew on it and swallow at the same time.
Fred: OK, let’s split up and search for this Ape Man who eats hamburgers. And remember, this set was built to make a scary movie.
Daphne: So watch out for trapdoors.
Scooby: Trapdoors? Hidden rooms?
Baby Fozzie: And maybe revolving bookcases?
Now we see Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Baby Fozzie, Baby Gonzo, Baby Animal and Baby Rowlf in another old room.
Shaggy: It’s kind of spooky in here.
Baby Fozzie: Yeah… probably full of ghosts and monsters!
Velma: Oh, don’t be such scaredy-cats.
Weird voice: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Velma: Shaggy, are you trying to be funny?
Shaggy: No, but somebody else is trying.
Baby Fozzie: And it’s not me, either!
Weird voice: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Scooby and Gonzo sneak over to a table. Velma, Shaggy and the other babies raise their arms.
Weird voice: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Shaggy: The great ape is first-rate.
Velma: Wait a minute. That sounds like a parrot.
Scooby and Gonzo uncover a birdcage to reveal a live parrot in it.
Parrot: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Scooby: Ee-HEE-hee-hee-hee-hee! Scooby-Doo!
Baby Gonzo: (mocking parrot) “Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?” (laughs)
We briefly see live-action footage of a real parrot as Gonzo laughs.
Shaggy: That’s what I call fowl play. Get it?
Baby Fozzie: Leave the jokes to me!
Shaggy, Scooby and Gonzo laugh. Suddenly, they hear loud growling. Scooby growls, and they see a motionless Ape Man rolling on some kind of wheeled platform. It careens toward them.
Shaggy: (running with Fozzie and Gonzo) It’s the Ape Man! Look out! Help!
We hear the growl again, and the Ape Man’s arms snatch up Shaggy, Gonzo Fozzie.
Shaggy: He’s got me!
Shaggy, Gonzo, Fozzie: Ohh! Ooh! Help! Please!
The “Ape Man” and its victims bump down some stairs and crash on the bottom. Fozzie, Gonzo and Shaggy rip the Ape Man to shreds.
Shaggy: Can’t we talk this over, man to Ape Man?
Baby Fozzie: Oh no, we broke him!
Velma: Shaggy, that ape is stuffed!
Shaggy: Stuffed ape? Well, I hope you don’t think it had me fooled for a minute. I knew it all the time.
Baby Fozzie: Me too!
Baby Gonzo: Me three!
Scooby: (rolls eyes) Roh, brother!
Baby Rowlf: You said it.
Now we are in a library set. The whole gang is looking around.
Daphne: There isn’t anything in here but old books.
Fred: (looking at some papers with Kermit) Here’s something. It’s a copy of the film’s shooting script.
Daphne: Next, you’ll tell me the Ape Man was in here reading it.
Fred: Someone left it open to the scene they were shooting today.
Baby Kermit: I bet it was the Ape Man!
Daphne: Maybe there’s a clue up here on these shelves.
Fred: Hey, did you know that in the film, people mysteriously vanished from this room?
Daphne accidentally hits a button, and Fred and Kermit fall through a bookcase that opens.
Baby Kermit: Yiiiipe!
Scooby taps some books on a shelf. Over at another opening, the Ape Man slips on a realistic latex Scooby-Doo mask and begins imitating Scooby’s actions, creating the illusion that the real Scooby-Doo has come up to a mirror. He and his impostor begin moving their paws around as Baby Gonzo and Rowlf watch with suspicious looks. Gonzo imitates the mask’s expression for a bit. Scooby then turns away from the mirror and his double disappears as well.
Shaggy: Hey! Where did Freddy go?
Baby Scooter: And where’s Kermit?
Daphne: He’s vanished!
Baby Piggy: I hope my poor Kermit is all right!
Scooby: Hey! Pssst-psst-psst!
Velma: What’s with Scooby-Doo?
Daphne: Something about the mirror.
Baby Rowlf: It looks like something out of some old movie.
Scooby: Watch. (goes by the “mirror” as the impostor “Scooby” does so) Romething phony.
Shaggy: Something phony?
Baby Fozzie: Must be a prank.
Scooby: (makes a funny face, but nothing shows up in the opening) See?
Suddenly, the Ape Man shows his true features in the window, growling and frightening the real Scooby-Doo! He nearly grabs Scooby, whom ducks just in time.
Baby Gonzo: Heh-heh, cool! I wonder where the Ape Man got the Scooby-Doo mask?
Shaggy: ZOINKS!!!
A chase starts.
Shaggy: Cut out! It’s the Ape Man!
Baby Skeeter: And he’s a master of disguise!
They come up to a door, but it’s locked.
Shaggy: It’s locked!
The Ape Man runs up to them.
Shaggy: Scooby, Animal, do something!
Velma: Yeah! Talk to him! Dog to beast to beast!
The real Scooby-Doo and Baby Animal begin growling to the Ape Man, who nervously growls back. They keep up the snarling and growling, until the Ape Man begins nervously backing up.
Velma: Whatever you said, Scooby, it’s working.
Shaggy: He’s retreating! After him!
Scooby and Animal continue having the Ape Man retreat. They continue up the stairs
Shaggy: It’s dark at the top of the stairs. He’ll get away.
Baby Rowlf: Animal can see really well in the dark!
Shaggy: Not good enough. Turn on some lights, Daphne!
Daphne: (at some kind of control panel) Oh dear, which is the right switch?
She pushes one, and the stairs become a slide.
Shaggy: Wrong switch, Daphne!
Scooby slides down with Animal.
Scooby: Scooby-Doo!
Baby Animal: Wheeeeeeeeeee!
They crash into something off-screen.
Shaggy: Why didn’t you put on the brakes, Scooby?
Scooby: I rike to ride!
Baby Animal: Slip-and-slide! Yababababababa!
Shaggy: They like to slide. Oh, boy.
…
Daphne stands in front of the switch panel as Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo and the Muppet Babies sans Kermit are behind her.
Daphne: That puts the stairs back, but I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down! But go ahead!
Baby Fozzie: Oh! I hope not! Then it could rain on all of us!
Baby Piggy, Scooter, Skeeter and Rowlf: FOZZIE!
Baby Fozzie: What? We’d all get wet!
Daphne: I’ll try… this one. (pushes the top center button)
The stairway lifts up to reveal Fred and Baby Kermit underneath.
Fred: Hi, gang!
Daphne and Velma: It’s Freddy!
Baby Piggy: And my dear Kermie! He’s all right!
Baby Kermit: What did I miss?
Baby Gonzo: Well, the Ape Man disguised himself as Scooby-Doo and did that old mirror trick…
A brief clip of Groucho and Harpo Marx doing the mirror routine in “Duck Soup” plays under Gonzo’s voice.
Baby Gonzo: …and then Animal and the real Scooby were able to ward him off with their snarling and growling!
Stock footage of a pitbull dog barking is briefly shown over Gonzo’s voice.
Baby Kermit: Wow… this is starting to feel somewhat like a cartoon!
Shaggy: Boy, the Ape Man almost got us!
Baby Scooter: But Scooby and Animal scared him away!
Fred: Well, I found the perfect trap for the Ape Man. Come on!
They all follow Fred through the staircase doorway, which closes up again once they are inside. Now we see them all inside a basement with wooden walls and some stage lights...
Fred: Now, this is the basement where the last scenes of the movie are to be shot. (points up to a tarp of some sort suspended from the ceiling) Look up there on the ceiling. That net was put up to capture the Ape Man in the film.
Scooby gives a perplexed look as Fred speaks.
Baby Gonzo: Huh?
Baby Scooter: But that’s a tarp, not a net!
Velma: And we can use it to capture the real Ape Man.
Scooby-Doo: Yeah-yeah-yeah!
Velma: Great.
Daphne: How do you know it'll work?
Fred: Kermit and I tested it. See that pulley? The net's connected to the rope, the rope runs down to the reel and the reel is wired to that dark switch box, which you'll pull to release the net.
Scooby-Doo: Rhuh?
Baby Scooter: Tarp.
Velma: And look, under the net there's an "X" on the floor where the Ape Man should be when the net falls.
Baby Scooter: Tarp!
Daphne: But how are we gonna get him to stand there?
Fred: Simple, Daphne. When the Ape Man reaches the "X", you and I will put the spotlight on him and that will blind him for a second while Velma pulls the switch for the net.
Shaggy: Yeah, but how are you gonna get the Ape Man down in the basement?
Fred, Daphne, Velma, Baby Kermit and Piggy: Hmm? (they eye Scooby and Shaggy intently)
Shaggy: Hey, don't look at me.
Scooby-Doo: Ron't look at me.
Baby Gonzo: Don’t look at me three!
Baby Animal: Don’t look at me FOUR! Yabababababababa!
Velma: (shuffling some Scooby Snacks in her hand) Scooby, will you do it for a few Scooby Snacks?
Scooby-Doo: Hmm... (thinks a bit)
Velma: You get a bonus snack after you get the Ape Man down here. OK?
Scooby-Doo: Rohkay.
Shaggy: Scooby Snacks won't work on me this time.
Baby Piggy: Because you know they are just disgusting dog biscuits?!
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy Snack? A little something I whipped up. (holds up her Shaggy Snack)
Shaggy: (excited) Ah! A Shaggy Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a potpie with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries and all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Scooby licks his lips in delight as Daphne speaks.
Baby Piggy: EWWW! That’s even more disgusting!!!
Baby Rowlf: But I thought you liked all those kinds of foods, Piggy.
Baby Piggy: Well, not when they’re all combined in a… mess like that! Yuck!
Shaggy: (now very excited) I'll do it, I'll do it!
Baby Animal: Aaaaah! Shaggy Snack! Shaggy Snack!
Daphne: (chuckles) OK, Animal, I’ll whip one up for you as well.
Baby Gonzo: I don’t need a food bribe. I’ll do it so my dear, sweet Piggy can star in the movie with me!
Baby Piggy: (annoyed) Great, so go! (honks Gonzo’s nose)
Baby Kermit: Now, Piggy, don’t be so rough on Gonzo. You remember how he and Scooby both saved Penelope Pitstop, er, I mean Candy Mint a while ago.
Baby Piggy: (exasperated sigh) I guess you’re right, Kermie…
Scooby-Doo: Ret's go! Scooby-Doo!
Baby Animal: Yababababababababa!
We fade to a little while later; Shaggy is doing his distinctive walk through one of the movie sets as Scooby-Doo follows, walking in a nervous manner. Baby Gonzo and Animal accompany them.
Baby Gonzo: Is it just me, or are you walking slower than usual, Shaggy?
But then they hear a familiar growl...
Shaggy: What's that noise?
Scooby-Doo: Ri don't know.
Baby Gonzo: But I think I do.
Baby Animal: Not from me!
Shaggy: It came from this room.
Then they come into a billiards room with a pool table and cues. There are animal head trophies mounted on the wall.
Shaggy: Wow! Look at those trophies. A deer, a rhino, a lion, and a…
Scooby-Doo: Ape ran?
Shaggy: Ape Man? Don’t be silly. That’s only a trophy. Come on. Let’s play a game, Scooby. I’ll also teach you how to play pool, Gonzo.
The Ape Man head ducks back through a hole on the trophy plaque. Scooby and Gonzo notice as they take a shot at the balls, and we briefly see live-action footage of a pool cue hitting a cue ball that knocks other pool balls in multiple directions. Then Scooby looks back up at the trophies and part of his dog tag changes to the same color as his cue.
Scooby-Doo: Rome trophies. One, two, three, four. (notices one missing) Hey, Raggy.
Baby Gonzo: Hey, what happened to your tag, Scooby?
Shaggy: Wait a minute, wait a minute! OK, Gonzo, you’re holding the cue stick right. Now, watch this shot…
Scooby-Doo: (counting the trophies again) One, two, three…
The Ape Man is now behind Shaggy and Gonzo!
Shaggy: Eight ball in the corner pocket.
Baby Gonzo: And three ball in the left pocket.
Shaggy bumps his pool cue into the Ape Man’s gut.
Shaggy: Sorry, Scooby… uh-oh!
Scooby-Doo: One, two, three…
Baby Gonzo: (nervously) Remember when we though that was Scooby in the library?
Shaggy: Let’s see… Scooby’s over there. Then who is…
Baby Gonzo: IT’S THE APE MAN!
The Ape Man roars again.
Shaggy: Go, man, go!
Scooby-Doo: Rhuh? Rhmm?
The Ape Man chases the three of them around the pool table several times as Scooby barks constantly. Then they run out of the room. Kermit, Fred and Daphne are positioned with the spotlight.
Fred: Here they come. Ready, Velma?
Velma: (standing at a lever with Scooter) All set, Freddy.
Shaggy, Scooby Animal and Gonzo run into the room, but they crash into some crates. As Shaggy and Gonzo both lie down over the crates, Scooby and Animal both turn around and start running back towards the gang.
Velma: No, Scooby, not here!
Baby Piggy: Animal, get away from her!
But it's too late; Scooby leaps into Velma's arms and shivers as usual, breathing in Velma's face.
Velma: Hey, you're steaming up my glasses!
Baby Scooter: But your glasses don’t look fogged up!
Shaggy: (standing from behind the crates with Gonzo) Get ready to spring the trap!
(The Ape Man runs into the room with a snarl.)
Shaggy: Now, Velma!
Velma: I can't see. I hope this is it!
She pulls a lever, but it just turns off the lights in the whole room, and all the Babies do their usual scream.
Fred: Pull the other switch, Velma! Quick, spring the trap!
Velma: I'm trying.
Another switch is heard, followed by a crash...
Baby Gonzo: Whoaaaaa!
Fred: That's it. Now get the lights back on.
Velma switches the lights back on.
Baby Animal: Lights on!
Fred: Hey, we got him! Come on, gang.
They head over to the closed tarp as a figure scuffles inside it. But it turns out to only be Shaggy and Baby Gonzo...
Shaggy: (sarcastically) Yeah, you got him. King Kong in the flesh.
Scooby-Doo: King Kong! HEE-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Baby Fozzie: Aww, the laugh track finds that joke funny? Well then, where does the Ape Man sit? Give up? Anywhere he wants to! Wocka-wocka-wocka!
Crowd booing sounds are heard, and a tomato splatters into Fozzie’s face.
Baby Fozzie: First a laugh track, then a tomato in the face out of nowhere... what is going on?!
A little while later, after Shaggy and Gonzo are released from the trap...
Fred: Well, it's a cinch that Ape Man is still in the basement.
Daphne: He didn't have time to go back upstairs.
Baby Scooter: Are you certain about that?
Shaggy: Hey, gang. Looks like Scooby and Rowlf found a clue.
Scooby-Doo and Rowlf both point to a bit of fur caught in the bottom of a very large wine cask.
Baby Rowlf: Look!
Fred: What is it?
Shaggy: Scooby's pointing to a tuft of hair caught in this cask.
Fred: Let's have a look. (they all walk over to the wine cask)
Daphne: So the Ape Man ran by here. What does it prove?
Velma: Maybe it's not a wine cask.
Baby Skeeter: Yeah, it’s unusually large for a wine cask! I’ve seen them in movies!
As Skeeter mentions that, we see brief live-action footage of normal-sized wine casks from an old Western film.
Shaggy: Okay, if it's not, what do you think it is?
Velma twists the handle on the nozzle, and the front opens to reveal a tunnel.
Velma: Offhand, I'd call it a door.
Daphne: It's a tunnel that goes back into the mountain.
Scooby-Doo: (startled) Rohhh!
Baby Fozzie: Wow!
Baby Gonzo: (dramatically) Aha!
Fred: So, this is the way he escaped. He won't get away this time.
They all enter and do their distinct walk through the tunnel as it inclines downward...
Baby Kermit: Is it just me, or are we on a downward incline?
Fred: You can bet the film company didn't build this tunnel.
Daphne: No, this is more like the cave where the Ape Man is supposed to live.
Velma: If you believe the old legend.
Shaggy: I believe it.
Baby Gonzo: Me too!
Baby Fozzie: Me three!
Baby Kermit: Well, I don’t. I’m positive it’s all a hoax.
Fred pushes open a large rock door to reveal they are at the dressing trailers where they started...
Daphne: Where are we?
Shaggy: Wow, the dressing rooms for the movie people!
Baby Skeeter: But this is where we started!
Fred: And we'd better search them. Come on.
Baby Kermit: Again!
They walk up toward the trailers.
Fred: We'll split up here. Shaggy, Scooby, Gonzo, Fozzie and Animal, you all take this one. Now, play it cool.
Shaggy: (as his teeth chatter) Cool? I'm an ice cube.
Baby Scooter: That’s definitely nervous teeth chattering, NOT cold teeth chattering!
Fred: The rest of us will go on and take the next one.
Baby Gonzo: But why do we always split up that way? Can’t I go with Piggy?
Baby Piggy: (puts her arms around Kermit) Because I’m going with my fair Kermie!
Baby Kermit: Sheesh!
Then we see Shaggy, Scooby, Fozzie, Gonzo and Animal all enter a costuming trailer.
Shaggy: Man, look at all this groovy stuff!
Costumes of all kinds hang on racks, and on a table we can a boot and a knight’s helmet, and on hangers there are latex masks of a clown, a zombie, Frankenstein’s monster and a devil.
Shaggy: Man, we could play Halloween!
Baby Gonzo: I love playing dress-up!
Shaggy: (wearing a 1700’s judicial wig) Check this, Scooby… “Give me liberty, or give me pizza pie!”
Scooby laughs, and Baby Animal pulls on the devil mask. His true large Muppet eyes appear through the eyeholes.
Baby Animal: Graaaaargh! Me demon! Yababababababa!
As Baby Fozzie puts on the knight helmet, Baby Gonzo opens a chest, and finds a Scooby-Doo mask, just like the one the Ape Man wore earlier.
Baby Gonzo: Hey, this is cool! I think I’ll save this for later!
Scooby is now wearing an Ape Man mask and growling like the Ape Man.
Scooby-Doo: Arrrrgh! Raggy! Graaaaahrrrgh!
Shaggy: (laughs) That’s great, Scooby. (takes off the wig, and finds an old-fashioned flash camera) Hey, here’s one of those jiffy cameras. It develops a shot in less than a minute. I’ll take all your pictures. Act in character.
Scooby: OK. (growls again)
Baby Animal growls in his devil mask, and Baby Gonzo walks around like a monster in the Frankenstein mask, and Baby Fozzie does a big grin in his knight helmet. The flash goes off.
Shaggy: That’s great! Do another one.
Scooby and Baby Gonzo: How’s this?
They all have their masks and Fozzie’s helmet off, and they smile while holding them up. The flash goes off again.
Shaggy: I got to wind another frame. (sees Carl from the back in the mirror putting on his Ape Man mask) Uh-oh, there’s the Ape Man, without his mask on. Hey!
Baby Gonzo: Over here, baldy!
Shaggy snaps a picture as the man looks towards him and then rushes off to don his Ape Man mask.
Baby Fozzie: I know who that is!
Shaggy: Look out, guys! The Ape Man!
The Ape Man, now masked again, roars at them.
Baby Fozzie: We know your secret!
Shaggy and Baby Gonzo: Gangway!
Shaggy and Scooby and the babies run out of the trailer as the Ape Man chases them.
Shaggy: I got it!
They run back and forth a bit around the set and past some trailers.
Shaggy: Hey, gang, I got the Ape Man on film!
The Ape Man lets out another menacing snarl as he runs after the two.
Baby Gonzo: Didn’t we already run past those same trailers a couple of times now?
Fred: That's Shaggy and Scooby and the other babies!
They skid and slide right up to the rest of Mystery Inc., with Shaggy landing on his stomach.
Shaggy: I got a picture of the Ape Man without his mask. He's right behind us!
Fred: Quick! Run for the house so we can trap him.
Baby Kermit: But can’t we just pounce on him and yank his mask off? Why the trap?
Fred: Trust me, Kermit. Let’s go!
They all run to the mansion set. Fred runs ahead of the rest of the gang and takes position at the switch panel.
Fred: Keep going right up the stairs and don't stop.
The rest of the gang runs up the stairs. Then the Ape Man begins to run up them, but once the gang and babies are all the way up at the top, Fred presses the button on the panel that converts the steps into a slide, causing the Ape Man to lose his balance and go sliding backwards down the stairs and through the set...
Baby Animal: Bye-bye!
Ape Man: (growls in fear) Help!
The Ape Man crashes into a bunch of furniture and gives a dazed, defeated look as he is tangled in the mess.
Shaggy: (opens the camera and shows the picture) Hey, look at this snapshot! Here’s a clue to end all clues. Take a look at our Ape Man!
Velma, Daphne, Fred, Baby Kermit, Baby Rowlf, Baby Scooter: It’s Carl! The stuntman!
Baby Piggy: I knew it was him the whole time!
Baby Kermit: Me too!
Baby Rowlf: We all did!
Some time later, in a living room set, we see John Maxwell with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Nanny and the other Muppet Babies except Animal and Gonzo, with a stage light obscuring Nanny’s face.
Maxwell: Yep, Carl decided to sabotage the picture just because I wouldn’t let him play the lead. What a pity.
Fred: It sure was clever of him to lock himself in that trunk yesterday.
Daphne: And tell that phony story about the Ape Man throwing him in there.
Baby Piggy: Not really. It made me know that HE was the villain.
Nanny: You kids did a great job helping with this mystery. I’m sure the director really appreciates what you did.
Babies: Yes, Nanny!
Maxwell: Well, I can’t thank you kids enough.
Velma: Shaggy should get most of the credit. And Baby Gonzo helped out as well. Where is Shaggy?
Baby Kermit: And where’s Gonzo and Animal?
We hear growling.
Velma: Oh no, not again!
We see two sets of chairs near a fireplace. A green chair has the Ape Man sticking out from it, the other has Scooby-Doo relaxing in it.
Fred: Looks like Shaggy and Animal want to try for the Ape Man role in the picture.
The Ape Man pulls his head off revealing Scooby-Doo underneath. Baby Animal pokes out from the side.
Scooby: Surprise! Ee-HEE-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Baby Animal: Fooled you!
Daphne: But THERE’S Scooby-Doo in the other chair!
The other Scooby-Doo in the red chair grins and tugs off his rubber mask to reveal Shaggy underneath...
Shaggy: (real voice) Surprise! It’s the Scooby head the Ape Man was wearing! (laughs)
We see Baby Gonzo wearing a similar Scooby-Doo mask as well, along with a brown jumpsuit with tail.
Baby Gonzo: (imitating Scooby) Rooby-dooby-doo!
Baby Animal: Nope, no Scooby! (tugs the latex mask off Gonzo and tosses it into his hands)
Baby Gonzo: Hey, monkey see, monkey do! Get it? (everyone now laughs)
Maxwell: Now there’s REAL talent, including the weirdo.
Shaggy: (laughs) We sure fooled them, guys. We ought to be in the movies! You too, Gonzo!
Scooby: Yeah! Scooby-dooby-doooooooooo! (laughs and then licks Shaggy)
Baby Animal: OK, goooooo bye-bye! Yababababababababa!
END
SCOOBY-DOO, WHERE ARE YOU?
And JIM HENSON’S MUPPET BABIES
In: “NEVER APE AN APE MAN”
We start on a large outdoor on-location movie set on a cliff. A sign reads “THE APE MAN OF FORBIDDEN MOUNTAIN.” We see a man, John Maxwell, standing with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Baby Kermit, Baby Piggy (applying powder puff), Baby Gonzo, Baby Fozzie, Baby Scooter, Baby Skeeter and Baby Rowlf. Nanny is with them, too, but a stage light obscures her face.
Velma: Gee, this is wonderful, Uncle John. (reads the poster) “The Ape Man of Forbidden Mountain.” What a groovy title for a picture.
Shaggy: It sure was swell of you to give all of us jobs as extras.
Baby Piggy: I know! I can’t believe I’m finally going to be a movie star!
Maxwell: Kids, I’m the grateful one. I need you because the local people won’t work in this film.
Baby Piggy: So I can play all the parts! Yippee-skippee!
Velma: Why is that, Mr. Maxwell?
Maxwell: Well, the local people are very superstitious.
At another area, as Maxwell speaks, Scooby-Doo and Baby Animal have found a big chest labeled “Makeup kit.” They poke their heads in, and Scooby comes out with big fangs and a mustache. Baby Animal has a top that makes him look like Frankenstein’s monster. They both pretend-growl as a laugh track is heard.
Scooby: Huh?
Baby Animal: Laugh track! Yabababababababa!
Maxwell: They believe an old legend about a REAL Ape Man. They say HE’S the one that burned down the old mansion years ago.
We see a big gray simian-type, obviously the Ape Man, poke behind a trailer.
Baby Kermit: (to the camera) Am I the only one who notices that big ape there?
We see Scooby’s paw tap Shaggy’s shoulder, and when Shaggy turns around, he sees Scooby wearing big glasses, fangs and a top hat, making him look like Mr. Hyde. Baby Animal has large fangs on and a wild wig.
Scooby: How do I look?
Shaggy: How do you look? I don’t see any difference in you AND Animal! (he and Scooby and Animal laugh)
Maxwell: We’ve had three reports that the Ape Man has been seen up here at night.
Fred: They’ve seen a real Ape Man?
Baby Gonzo: A real Ape Man? COOL!!!
Back at the Makeup kit chest, Scooby’s head comes out again, this time with big mouse ears on. Baby Animal has rabbit ears.
Scooby: Real Ape Man? (gulps)
Shaggy: (looks at his watch) I just remembered a dental appointment back in town.
Scooby: (still with mouse ears) Me too!
Baby Fozzie: (wearing a Groucho nose and glasses) Me three!
Baby Skeeter: Since when do you wear a watch, Shaggy?
Daphne: Stop it, you guys. It’s only a superstition, right, Uncle John?
Maxwell: Right. The only Ape Man on this mountain is my stunt man Carl.
A sports-style whistle blows, and we see it came from a cameraman. We see a beautiful woman in a cave-type outfit at one side of a bridge.
Cameraman: Anytime you’re ready, J.J.
Baby Piggy: (now applying powderpuff) I’m ready, too!
Baby Kermit: Uh, Piggy, being an extra is not much. Extras don’t get to act. They don’t even have lines! They’re just part of the background.
Baby Piggy: I know, Kermie, but it’s a start!
Baby Kermit: Sheesh!
Nanny: OK, kids, I’m going to go talk with the producer about the movie. Be good for your mystery-solving friends.
All Babies: Bye, Nanny!
Later, we see the gang standing near John with his megaphone.
John: (into megaphone) All right, Miss Mint, you just run onto the rope bridge, OK?
Mint: (Southern Belle accent) Right, Mr. Maxwell.
Maxwell: That’s our star, Candy Mint. And you’ll see Carl in the Ape Man suit. (into megaphone) OK, roll ‘em!
Candy runs onto the rope, and comes across the Ape Man, growling. We also see stock footage of an ape roaring.
Shaggy: Man, he could be for real. What a beast!
Scooby: (with a frightened expression) Ryeah, beast!
Baby Rowlf: He’s even nastier than King Kong!
Maxwell: Great! He’s even better than he was in rehearsal! Now watch Candy on the bridge.
Scooby and Gonzo briefly cover their eyes, but then look again.
Maxwell: Watch the Ape Man jump up and down on the bridge and try to spill Candy.
Baby Kermit: And we’ll pick up the mess of candy afterwards.
Maxwell: That’s not what I meant.
The Ape Man begins shaking the bridge with his hands.
Maxwell: No, Carl! Stop it! That’s not in the script!
Mint: (shaking around) Help!
Scooby does his distinctive gulp.
Shaggy: I don’t think he heard you!
Baby Fozzie: Maybe he can’t hear well in that costume!
Maxwell: He heard me, but that ape is not my stuntman.
Mint: Somebody make him stop!
Scooby: (preparing to take off) Scooby-Doo! (dashes off)
Baby Gonzo: And Gonzo! (follows Scooby across the bridge)
Mint: Help, help!
At the other side, the Ape Man growls, and Scooby growls back.
Shaggy: Scooby, steady the bridge!
Candy Mint runs across back to the side with the cameras.
Fred: She made it!
Shaggy: And Scooby and Gonzo did it!
Scooby and Gonzo hold on to the bridge as it continues wobbling. It breaks, and Scooby and Gonzo fall.
Scooby and Baby Gonzo: Uh-oh!
They bounce off a branch, and both take turns punching the Ape Man’s nose and stomach. Each time they take a bounce, they continue hitting the Ape Man. On the last bounce, Scooby shoves the Ape Man off of the mountain. He and Gonzo bounce on the branch again, and then land in a net held out by Fred and Kermit.
Fred: Good show, Scooby!
Kermit: You also did great, Gonzo!
Baby Gonzo: Maybe I can be a Stunt Weirdo!
Shaggy: You sure sent that, uh, thing packing.
Baby Fozzie: Yeah? Where’s he going to?
Velma: You two were so brave.
Scooby: Awww, Scooby-dooby-doo.
Baby Gonzo: Gonzo-weirdo-weirdo!
Other Babies: (annoyed) Gonzo!
Later, at a trailer, we see the Scooby gang and babies again. They are with Mr. Maxwell once again.
Maxwell: That was a daring rescue, Scooby and Gonzo.
Shaggy: They were better than Laddie and, uh, I can’t think of any other weirdoes.
Fred: What do we do now, Mr. Maxwell?
Baby Piggy: Hopefully write a big part for moi?
Maxwell: No, find my missing stuntman, Carl. This is his trailer.
Daphne: Maybe we can pick up a clue to where Carl might be.
We fade to inside the trailer. John Maxwell looks through some drawers.
Maxwell: I’m worried. I didn’t put much stock in that Ape Man legend until now.
Baby Scooter opens a cabinet and finds…
Baby Scooter: Hmm, oil-based clay, slush-cast latex, a special set of paints? Looks like stuff for a special effects make-up artist!
Scooby: Hmm…
He opens another cabinet to see the mask of the Ape Man on a wig stand. He gasps and shuts it again. He comes up near a chest, his teeth chattering and pointing.
Shaggy: Hey. Scooby, is that you acting scared?
Scooby: Ape Man’s head!
The laugh track is heard again.
Baby Kermit: (to Fred) Let’s also solve the mystery of that laugh track!
Maxwell: Ape Man’s head? Oh, that’s just part of the costume.
Scooby: Phew! (a knocking sound is heard from in the trunk) Huh?
Scooby knocks “Shave and a Haircut” on the lid, and whoever’s in it knocks back the last two notes.
Scooby: HUH?
Shaggy: Hey, that’s a good trick! How’d you do it? Did Fozzie help?
Scooby: I don’t know!
Baby Fozzie: Me, neither!
Shaggy: Then there must be somebody in the trunk.
Baby Fozzie: That’s what I’m afraid of!
Fred: Come on, Scooby. Open it.
Scooby: Ruh-uh. Not me!
Fred: Yes, you.
Velma: Now, Scooby, don’t go into one of your acts.
Baby Rowlf: (singing) And Scooby-Doo, if you come through,
You’re gonna have yourself a Scooby Snack!
Baby Gonzo: That’s a fact!
Velma: Enough monkey business, guys. Scooby, just open the trunk.
Baby Piggy: You too, Fozzie!
Scooby: OK.
He opens it, and he and Fozzie look, gulp, and shut it again.
Scooby: It’s a MAN!
Shaggy: It’s a man?
Baby Fozzie: A man in an ape suit!
Maxwell: It must be Carl the stuntman! (walks over to the trunk)
They open it, and we see Carl lying there without his Ape Man mask on; he has a bald head.
Baby Piggy: That’s it, mystery’s over, he’s the monster! Let’s go back to the movie!
Baby Kermit: Now, Piggy, let’s not jump to conclusions.
Maxwell: What happened?
Carl: (real voice) I came in to dress, and a big hairy animal grabbed me and threw me in the trunk.
Shaggy: Was it the Ape Man?
Carl: Ape Man? What’s going on?
Baby Piggy: Don’t play dumb!
Maxwell: I’ll handle this, Piggy. (to Carl) An Ape Man of some kind sabotaged our shooting and almost hurt Candy.
Carl: The old legend, huh? It must have been him that got me.
Mint: (enters) Oh, Mr. Maxwell? I’m sorry, but I quit until that beast is caught!
Baby Piggy: Then I can play the lead role!
Carl: I’m with her, Mr. Maxwell. I’m quitting, too.
Maxwell: Can’t you wait a few days? I’ll get this mystery cleared up. I’m afraid I’ll have to withdraw my job offer.
Baby Piggy: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Maxwell: It’s just too dangerous now.
Scooby: Yeah-yeah-yeah!
Fred: (as the music builds up) Maybe we can give you a hand in solving this mystery.
Baby Kermit: And me and the other babies will help, too!
Maxwell: Well…
Baby Fozzie and Scooby keep shaking their heads “no.”
Daphne: We can stand guard!
Shaggy: Yeah! Who’s afraid of a big bad ape?
Scooby: I am!
Baby Fozzie: Me too!
We fade over to the mansion set, with the Scooby gang and Muppet Babies relaxing in it.
Fred: OK, gang. Daphne’s uncle let us stay, on the condition we be careful.
Baby Piggy: And we can be extras again! I’m going to get ready!
Baby Piggy runs over her suitcase and begins taking out clothes.
Baby Fozzie: What are you doing, Piggy?
Baby Piggy: I’ve got to find something to wear, do my hair, write my act…
Baby Fozzie: Gee, can I help?
Baby Piggy: Um, no, I don’t think so, Fozzie. This kind of work requires a professional.
Baby Fozzie: I’m a “fropessional!” Uh, hey Kermit, what IS a “fropessional?”
Velma: According to the legend, the Ape Man lives in a secret cave somewhere in the rocks.
Fred: It’s strange how he was smart enough to get rid of that stuntman.
As they talk, the Ape Man listens from outside.
Daphne: There’s something fishy about that.
Shaggy: A dumb Ape Man is bad enough, but one that smart I can live without. Get it? Live without?
Scooby: Me too!
Baby Fozzie: Hey, I’m the one who usually makes the jokes!
Baby Kermit: I think Baby Piggy was right. The Ape Man could’ve just been the stuntman!
Fred: Did you know that this set is built on the ruins of the original old mansion?
Shaggy: Zooks! There should be some good clue-hunting around here.
Baby Gonzo: “Zooks?”
Fred: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s search.
Scooby: Scooby-Doo!
Baby Animal: Animal! Yabababababa!
They all walk down a hallway.
Fred: Keep a sharp eye out for anything that will give us a clue.
Scooby and Baby Animal sniff a half-eaten burger.
Shaggy: Hey, Scooby, Animal, what’s that you found? Somebody left half a hamburger! Hunting clues always makes me hungry.
Fred: Wait! That’s a clue.
Velma: Don’t eat that clue, Shaggy!
Baby Kermit: You’d better not eat it, Animal!
Baby Animal: Sorr-ee.
Shaggy: Huh? Clue?
Scooby: Yeah, roo?
Baby Animal: A clue! A clue!
Velma: (points to burger) See those claw marks? The Ape Man was eating this sandwich.
Daphne: That’s odd. Apes don’t eat meat.
Baby Skeeter: (eying Shaggy) Neither do vegetarians.
Fred: Maybe this Ape Man is more than an ape.
Baby Kermit: Yeah! Maybe he’s really just a man!
Fred: It’s OK, Shaggy. You can eat it.
Shaggy: What? Me eat after an ape? I can’t do it.
Scooby: I will eat it.
Baby Animal: Me too!
They both take a big bite out the burger, then chew on it and swallow at the same time.
Fred: OK, let’s split up and search for this Ape Man who eats hamburgers. And remember, this set was built to make a scary movie.
Daphne: So watch out for trapdoors.
Scooby: Trapdoors? Hidden rooms?
Baby Fozzie: And maybe revolving bookcases?
Now we see Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Baby Fozzie, Baby Gonzo, Baby Animal and Baby Rowlf in another old room.
Shaggy: It’s kind of spooky in here.
Baby Fozzie: Yeah… probably full of ghosts and monsters!
Velma: Oh, don’t be such scaredy-cats.
Weird voice: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Velma: Shaggy, are you trying to be funny?
Shaggy: No, but somebody else is trying.
Baby Fozzie: And it’s not me, either!
Weird voice: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Scooby and Gonzo sneak over to a table. Velma, Shaggy and the other babies raise their arms.
Weird voice: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Shaggy: The great ape is first-rate.
Velma: Wait a minute. That sounds like a parrot.
Scooby and Gonzo uncover a birdcage to reveal a live parrot in it.
Parrot: Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?
Scooby: Ee-HEE-hee-hee-hee-hee! Scooby-Doo!
Baby Gonzo: (mocking parrot) “Stick ‘em up! What’s the password?” (laughs)
We briefly see live-action footage of a real parrot as Gonzo laughs.
Shaggy: That’s what I call fowl play. Get it?
Baby Fozzie: Leave the jokes to me!
Shaggy, Scooby and Gonzo laugh. Suddenly, they hear loud growling. Scooby growls, and they see a motionless Ape Man rolling on some kind of wheeled platform. It careens toward them.
Shaggy: (running with Fozzie and Gonzo) It’s the Ape Man! Look out! Help!
We hear the growl again, and the Ape Man’s arms snatch up Shaggy, Gonzo Fozzie.
Shaggy: He’s got me!
Shaggy, Gonzo, Fozzie: Ohh! Ooh! Help! Please!
The “Ape Man” and its victims bump down some stairs and crash on the bottom. Fozzie, Gonzo and Shaggy rip the Ape Man to shreds.
Shaggy: Can’t we talk this over, man to Ape Man?
Baby Fozzie: Oh no, we broke him!
Velma: Shaggy, that ape is stuffed!
Shaggy: Stuffed ape? Well, I hope you don’t think it had me fooled for a minute. I knew it all the time.
Baby Fozzie: Me too!
Baby Gonzo: Me three!
Scooby: (rolls eyes) Roh, brother!
Baby Rowlf: You said it.
Now we are in a library set. The whole gang is looking around.
Daphne: There isn’t anything in here but old books.
Fred: (looking at some papers with Kermit) Here’s something. It’s a copy of the film’s shooting script.
Daphne: Next, you’ll tell me the Ape Man was in here reading it.
Fred: Someone left it open to the scene they were shooting today.
Baby Kermit: I bet it was the Ape Man!
Daphne: Maybe there’s a clue up here on these shelves.
Fred: Hey, did you know that in the film, people mysteriously vanished from this room?
Daphne accidentally hits a button, and Fred and Kermit fall through a bookcase that opens.
Baby Kermit: Yiiiipe!
Scooby taps some books on a shelf. Over at another opening, the Ape Man slips on a realistic latex Scooby-Doo mask and begins imitating Scooby’s actions, creating the illusion that the real Scooby-Doo has come up to a mirror. He and his impostor begin moving their paws around as Baby Gonzo and Rowlf watch with suspicious looks. Gonzo imitates the mask’s expression for a bit. Scooby then turns away from the mirror and his double disappears as well.
Shaggy: Hey! Where did Freddy go?
Baby Scooter: And where’s Kermit?
Daphne: He’s vanished!
Baby Piggy: I hope my poor Kermit is all right!
Scooby: Hey! Pssst-psst-psst!
Velma: What’s with Scooby-Doo?
Daphne: Something about the mirror.
Baby Rowlf: It looks like something out of some old movie.
Scooby: Watch. (goes by the “mirror” as the impostor “Scooby” does so) Romething phony.
Shaggy: Something phony?
Baby Fozzie: Must be a prank.
Scooby: (makes a funny face, but nothing shows up in the opening) See?
Suddenly, the Ape Man shows his true features in the window, growling and frightening the real Scooby-Doo! He nearly grabs Scooby, whom ducks just in time.
Baby Gonzo: Heh-heh, cool! I wonder where the Ape Man got the Scooby-Doo mask?
Shaggy: ZOINKS!!!
A chase starts.
Shaggy: Cut out! It’s the Ape Man!
Baby Skeeter: And he’s a master of disguise!
They come up to a door, but it’s locked.
Shaggy: It’s locked!
The Ape Man runs up to them.
Shaggy: Scooby, Animal, do something!
Velma: Yeah! Talk to him! Dog to beast to beast!
The real Scooby-Doo and Baby Animal begin growling to the Ape Man, who nervously growls back. They keep up the snarling and growling, until the Ape Man begins nervously backing up.
Velma: Whatever you said, Scooby, it’s working.
Shaggy: He’s retreating! After him!
Scooby and Animal continue having the Ape Man retreat. They continue up the stairs
Shaggy: It’s dark at the top of the stairs. He’ll get away.
Baby Rowlf: Animal can see really well in the dark!
Shaggy: Not good enough. Turn on some lights, Daphne!
Daphne: (at some kind of control panel) Oh dear, which is the right switch?
She pushes one, and the stairs become a slide.
Shaggy: Wrong switch, Daphne!
Scooby slides down with Animal.
Scooby: Scooby-Doo!
Baby Animal: Wheeeeeeeeeee!
They crash into something off-screen.
Shaggy: Why didn’t you put on the brakes, Scooby?
Scooby: I rike to ride!
Baby Animal: Slip-and-slide! Yababababababa!
Shaggy: They like to slide. Oh, boy.
…
Daphne stands in front of the switch panel as Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo and the Muppet Babies sans Kermit are behind her.
Daphne: That puts the stairs back, but I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down! But go ahead!
Baby Fozzie: Oh! I hope not! Then it could rain on all of us!
Baby Piggy, Scooter, Skeeter and Rowlf: FOZZIE!
Baby Fozzie: What? We’d all get wet!
Daphne: I’ll try… this one. (pushes the top center button)
The stairway lifts up to reveal Fred and Baby Kermit underneath.
Fred: Hi, gang!
Daphne and Velma: It’s Freddy!
Baby Piggy: And my dear Kermie! He’s all right!
Baby Kermit: What did I miss?
Baby Gonzo: Well, the Ape Man disguised himself as Scooby-Doo and did that old mirror trick…
A brief clip of Groucho and Harpo Marx doing the mirror routine in “Duck Soup” plays under Gonzo’s voice.
Baby Gonzo: …and then Animal and the real Scooby were able to ward him off with their snarling and growling!
Stock footage of a pitbull dog barking is briefly shown over Gonzo’s voice.
Baby Kermit: Wow… this is starting to feel somewhat like a cartoon!
Shaggy: Boy, the Ape Man almost got us!
Baby Scooter: But Scooby and Animal scared him away!
Fred: Well, I found the perfect trap for the Ape Man. Come on!
They all follow Fred through the staircase doorway, which closes up again once they are inside. Now we see them all inside a basement with wooden walls and some stage lights...
Fred: Now, this is the basement where the last scenes of the movie are to be shot. (points up to a tarp of some sort suspended from the ceiling) Look up there on the ceiling. That net was put up to capture the Ape Man in the film.
Scooby gives a perplexed look as Fred speaks.
Baby Gonzo: Huh?
Baby Scooter: But that’s a tarp, not a net!
Velma: And we can use it to capture the real Ape Man.
Scooby-Doo: Yeah-yeah-yeah!
Velma: Great.
Daphne: How do you know it'll work?
Fred: Kermit and I tested it. See that pulley? The net's connected to the rope, the rope runs down to the reel and the reel is wired to that dark switch box, which you'll pull to release the net.
Scooby-Doo: Rhuh?
Baby Scooter: Tarp.
Velma: And look, under the net there's an "X" on the floor where the Ape Man should be when the net falls.
Baby Scooter: Tarp!
Daphne: But how are we gonna get him to stand there?
Fred: Simple, Daphne. When the Ape Man reaches the "X", you and I will put the spotlight on him and that will blind him for a second while Velma pulls the switch for the net.
Shaggy: Yeah, but how are you gonna get the Ape Man down in the basement?
Fred, Daphne, Velma, Baby Kermit and Piggy: Hmm? (they eye Scooby and Shaggy intently)
Shaggy: Hey, don't look at me.
Scooby-Doo: Ron't look at me.
Baby Gonzo: Don’t look at me three!
Baby Animal: Don’t look at me FOUR! Yabababababababa!
Velma: (shuffling some Scooby Snacks in her hand) Scooby, will you do it for a few Scooby Snacks?
Scooby-Doo: Hmm... (thinks a bit)
Velma: You get a bonus snack after you get the Ape Man down here. OK?
Scooby-Doo: Rohkay.
Shaggy: Scooby Snacks won't work on me this time.
Baby Piggy: Because you know they are just disgusting dog biscuits?!
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy Snack? A little something I whipped up. (holds up her Shaggy Snack)
Shaggy: (excited) Ah! A Shaggy Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a potpie with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries and all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Scooby licks his lips in delight as Daphne speaks.
Baby Piggy: EWWW! That’s even more disgusting!!!
Baby Rowlf: But I thought you liked all those kinds of foods, Piggy.
Baby Piggy: Well, not when they’re all combined in a… mess like that! Yuck!
Shaggy: (now very excited) I'll do it, I'll do it!
Baby Animal: Aaaaah! Shaggy Snack! Shaggy Snack!
Daphne: (chuckles) OK, Animal, I’ll whip one up for you as well.
Baby Gonzo: I don’t need a food bribe. I’ll do it so my dear, sweet Piggy can star in the movie with me!
Baby Piggy: (annoyed) Great, so go! (honks Gonzo’s nose)
Baby Kermit: Now, Piggy, don’t be so rough on Gonzo. You remember how he and Scooby both saved Penelope Pitstop, er, I mean Candy Mint a while ago.
Baby Piggy: (exasperated sigh) I guess you’re right, Kermie…
Scooby-Doo: Ret's go! Scooby-Doo!
Baby Animal: Yababababababababa!
We fade to a little while later; Shaggy is doing his distinctive walk through one of the movie sets as Scooby-Doo follows, walking in a nervous manner. Baby Gonzo and Animal accompany them.
Baby Gonzo: Is it just me, or are you walking slower than usual, Shaggy?
But then they hear a familiar growl...
Shaggy: What's that noise?
Scooby-Doo: Ri don't know.
Baby Gonzo: But I think I do.
Baby Animal: Not from me!
Shaggy: It came from this room.
Then they come into a billiards room with a pool table and cues. There are animal head trophies mounted on the wall.
Shaggy: Wow! Look at those trophies. A deer, a rhino, a lion, and a…
Scooby-Doo: Ape ran?
Shaggy: Ape Man? Don’t be silly. That’s only a trophy. Come on. Let’s play a game, Scooby. I’ll also teach you how to play pool, Gonzo.
The Ape Man head ducks back through a hole on the trophy plaque. Scooby and Gonzo notice as they take a shot at the balls, and we briefly see live-action footage of a pool cue hitting a cue ball that knocks other pool balls in multiple directions. Then Scooby looks back up at the trophies and part of his dog tag changes to the same color as his cue.
Scooby-Doo: Rome trophies. One, two, three, four. (notices one missing) Hey, Raggy.
Baby Gonzo: Hey, what happened to your tag, Scooby?
Shaggy: Wait a minute, wait a minute! OK, Gonzo, you’re holding the cue stick right. Now, watch this shot…
Scooby-Doo: (counting the trophies again) One, two, three…
The Ape Man is now behind Shaggy and Gonzo!
Shaggy: Eight ball in the corner pocket.
Baby Gonzo: And three ball in the left pocket.
Shaggy bumps his pool cue into the Ape Man’s gut.
Shaggy: Sorry, Scooby… uh-oh!
Scooby-Doo: One, two, three…
Baby Gonzo: (nervously) Remember when we though that was Scooby in the library?
Shaggy: Let’s see… Scooby’s over there. Then who is…
Baby Gonzo: IT’S THE APE MAN!
The Ape Man roars again.
Shaggy: Go, man, go!
Scooby-Doo: Rhuh? Rhmm?
The Ape Man chases the three of them around the pool table several times as Scooby barks constantly. Then they run out of the room. Kermit, Fred and Daphne are positioned with the spotlight.
Fred: Here they come. Ready, Velma?
Velma: (standing at a lever with Scooter) All set, Freddy.
Shaggy, Scooby Animal and Gonzo run into the room, but they crash into some crates. As Shaggy and Gonzo both lie down over the crates, Scooby and Animal both turn around and start running back towards the gang.
Velma: No, Scooby, not here!
Baby Piggy: Animal, get away from her!
But it's too late; Scooby leaps into Velma's arms and shivers as usual, breathing in Velma's face.
Velma: Hey, you're steaming up my glasses!
Baby Scooter: But your glasses don’t look fogged up!
Shaggy: (standing from behind the crates with Gonzo) Get ready to spring the trap!
(The Ape Man runs into the room with a snarl.)
Shaggy: Now, Velma!
Velma: I can't see. I hope this is it!
She pulls a lever, but it just turns off the lights in the whole room, and all the Babies do their usual scream.
Fred: Pull the other switch, Velma! Quick, spring the trap!
Velma: I'm trying.
Another switch is heard, followed by a crash...
Baby Gonzo: Whoaaaaa!
Fred: That's it. Now get the lights back on.
Velma switches the lights back on.
Baby Animal: Lights on!
Fred: Hey, we got him! Come on, gang.
They head over to the closed tarp as a figure scuffles inside it. But it turns out to only be Shaggy and Baby Gonzo...
Shaggy: (sarcastically) Yeah, you got him. King Kong in the flesh.
Scooby-Doo: King Kong! HEE-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Baby Fozzie: Aww, the laugh track finds that joke funny? Well then, where does the Ape Man sit? Give up? Anywhere he wants to! Wocka-wocka-wocka!
Crowd booing sounds are heard, and a tomato splatters into Fozzie’s face.
Baby Fozzie: First a laugh track, then a tomato in the face out of nowhere... what is going on?!
A little while later, after Shaggy and Gonzo are released from the trap...
Fred: Well, it's a cinch that Ape Man is still in the basement.
Daphne: He didn't have time to go back upstairs.
Baby Scooter: Are you certain about that?
Shaggy: Hey, gang. Looks like Scooby and Rowlf found a clue.
Scooby-Doo and Rowlf both point to a bit of fur caught in the bottom of a very large wine cask.
Baby Rowlf: Look!
Fred: What is it?
Shaggy: Scooby's pointing to a tuft of hair caught in this cask.
Fred: Let's have a look. (they all walk over to the wine cask)
Daphne: So the Ape Man ran by here. What does it prove?
Velma: Maybe it's not a wine cask.
Baby Skeeter: Yeah, it’s unusually large for a wine cask! I’ve seen them in movies!
As Skeeter mentions that, we see brief live-action footage of normal-sized wine casks from an old Western film.
Shaggy: Okay, if it's not, what do you think it is?
Velma twists the handle on the nozzle, and the front opens to reveal a tunnel.
Velma: Offhand, I'd call it a door.
Daphne: It's a tunnel that goes back into the mountain.
Scooby-Doo: (startled) Rohhh!
Baby Fozzie: Wow!
Baby Gonzo: (dramatically) Aha!
Fred: So, this is the way he escaped. He won't get away this time.
They all enter and do their distinct walk through the tunnel as it inclines downward...
Baby Kermit: Is it just me, or are we on a downward incline?
Fred: You can bet the film company didn't build this tunnel.
Daphne: No, this is more like the cave where the Ape Man is supposed to live.
Velma: If you believe the old legend.
Shaggy: I believe it.
Baby Gonzo: Me too!
Baby Fozzie: Me three!
Baby Kermit: Well, I don’t. I’m positive it’s all a hoax.
Fred pushes open a large rock door to reveal they are at the dressing trailers where they started...
Daphne: Where are we?
Shaggy: Wow, the dressing rooms for the movie people!
Baby Skeeter: But this is where we started!
Fred: And we'd better search them. Come on.
Baby Kermit: Again!
They walk up toward the trailers.
Fred: We'll split up here. Shaggy, Scooby, Gonzo, Fozzie and Animal, you all take this one. Now, play it cool.
Shaggy: (as his teeth chatter) Cool? I'm an ice cube.
Baby Scooter: That’s definitely nervous teeth chattering, NOT cold teeth chattering!
Fred: The rest of us will go on and take the next one.
Baby Gonzo: But why do we always split up that way? Can’t I go with Piggy?
Baby Piggy: (puts her arms around Kermit) Because I’m going with my fair Kermie!
Baby Kermit: Sheesh!
Then we see Shaggy, Scooby, Fozzie, Gonzo and Animal all enter a costuming trailer.
Shaggy: Man, look at all this groovy stuff!
Costumes of all kinds hang on racks, and on a table we can a boot and a knight’s helmet, and on hangers there are latex masks of a clown, a zombie, Frankenstein’s monster and a devil.
Shaggy: Man, we could play Halloween!
Baby Gonzo: I love playing dress-up!
Shaggy: (wearing a 1700’s judicial wig) Check this, Scooby… “Give me liberty, or give me pizza pie!”
Scooby laughs, and Baby Animal pulls on the devil mask. His true large Muppet eyes appear through the eyeholes.
Baby Animal: Graaaaargh! Me demon! Yababababababa!
As Baby Fozzie puts on the knight helmet, Baby Gonzo opens a chest, and finds a Scooby-Doo mask, just like the one the Ape Man wore earlier.
Baby Gonzo: Hey, this is cool! I think I’ll save this for later!
Scooby is now wearing an Ape Man mask and growling like the Ape Man.
Scooby-Doo: Arrrrgh! Raggy! Graaaaahrrrgh!
Shaggy: (laughs) That’s great, Scooby. (takes off the wig, and finds an old-fashioned flash camera) Hey, here’s one of those jiffy cameras. It develops a shot in less than a minute. I’ll take all your pictures. Act in character.
Scooby: OK. (growls again)
Baby Animal growls in his devil mask, and Baby Gonzo walks around like a monster in the Frankenstein mask, and Baby Fozzie does a big grin in his knight helmet. The flash goes off.
Shaggy: That’s great! Do another one.
Scooby and Baby Gonzo: How’s this?
They all have their masks and Fozzie’s helmet off, and they smile while holding them up. The flash goes off again.
Shaggy: I got to wind another frame. (sees Carl from the back in the mirror putting on his Ape Man mask) Uh-oh, there’s the Ape Man, without his mask on. Hey!
Baby Gonzo: Over here, baldy!
Shaggy snaps a picture as the man looks towards him and then rushes off to don his Ape Man mask.
Baby Fozzie: I know who that is!
Shaggy: Look out, guys! The Ape Man!
The Ape Man, now masked again, roars at them.
Baby Fozzie: We know your secret!
Shaggy and Baby Gonzo: Gangway!
Shaggy and Scooby and the babies run out of the trailer as the Ape Man chases them.
Shaggy: I got it!
They run back and forth a bit around the set and past some trailers.
Shaggy: Hey, gang, I got the Ape Man on film!
The Ape Man lets out another menacing snarl as he runs after the two.
Baby Gonzo: Didn’t we already run past those same trailers a couple of times now?
Fred: That's Shaggy and Scooby and the other babies!
They skid and slide right up to the rest of Mystery Inc., with Shaggy landing on his stomach.
Shaggy: I got a picture of the Ape Man without his mask. He's right behind us!
Fred: Quick! Run for the house so we can trap him.
Baby Kermit: But can’t we just pounce on him and yank his mask off? Why the trap?
Fred: Trust me, Kermit. Let’s go!
They all run to the mansion set. Fred runs ahead of the rest of the gang and takes position at the switch panel.
Fred: Keep going right up the stairs and don't stop.
The rest of the gang runs up the stairs. Then the Ape Man begins to run up them, but once the gang and babies are all the way up at the top, Fred presses the button on the panel that converts the steps into a slide, causing the Ape Man to lose his balance and go sliding backwards down the stairs and through the set...
Baby Animal: Bye-bye!
Ape Man: (growls in fear) Help!
The Ape Man crashes into a bunch of furniture and gives a dazed, defeated look as he is tangled in the mess.
Shaggy: (opens the camera and shows the picture) Hey, look at this snapshot! Here’s a clue to end all clues. Take a look at our Ape Man!
Velma, Daphne, Fred, Baby Kermit, Baby Rowlf, Baby Scooter: It’s Carl! The stuntman!
Baby Piggy: I knew it was him the whole time!
Baby Kermit: Me too!
Baby Rowlf: We all did!
Some time later, in a living room set, we see John Maxwell with Fred, Daphne, Velma, Nanny and the other Muppet Babies except Animal and Gonzo, with a stage light obscuring Nanny’s face.
Maxwell: Yep, Carl decided to sabotage the picture just because I wouldn’t let him play the lead. What a pity.
Fred: It sure was clever of him to lock himself in that trunk yesterday.
Daphne: And tell that phony story about the Ape Man throwing him in there.
Baby Piggy: Not really. It made me know that HE was the villain.
Nanny: You kids did a great job helping with this mystery. I’m sure the director really appreciates what you did.
Babies: Yes, Nanny!
Maxwell: Well, I can’t thank you kids enough.
Velma: Shaggy should get most of the credit. And Baby Gonzo helped out as well. Where is Shaggy?
Baby Kermit: And where’s Gonzo and Animal?
We hear growling.
Velma: Oh no, not again!
We see two sets of chairs near a fireplace. A green chair has the Ape Man sticking out from it, the other has Scooby-Doo relaxing in it.
Fred: Looks like Shaggy and Animal want to try for the Ape Man role in the picture.
The Ape Man pulls his head off revealing Scooby-Doo underneath. Baby Animal pokes out from the side.
Scooby: Surprise! Ee-HEE-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
Baby Animal: Fooled you!
Daphne: But THERE’S Scooby-Doo in the other chair!
The other Scooby-Doo in the red chair grins and tugs off his rubber mask to reveal Shaggy underneath...
Shaggy: (real voice) Surprise! It’s the Scooby head the Ape Man was wearing! (laughs)
We see Baby Gonzo wearing a similar Scooby-Doo mask as well, along with a brown jumpsuit with tail.
Baby Gonzo: (imitating Scooby) Rooby-dooby-doo!
Baby Animal: Nope, no Scooby! (tugs the latex mask off Gonzo and tosses it into his hands)
Baby Gonzo: Hey, monkey see, monkey do! Get it? (everyone now laughs)
Maxwell: Now there’s REAL talent, including the weirdo.
Shaggy: (laughs) We sure fooled them, guys. We ought to be in the movies! You too, Gonzo!
Scooby: Yeah! Scooby-dooby-doooooooooo! (laughs and then licks Shaggy)
Baby Animal: OK, goooooo bye-bye! Yababababababababa!
END
