Post by criticalpictures on Apr 11, 2012 6:10:39 GMT -5
A crazy fanfiction story where Scooby Doo fights the immortal spirit of William Shakespeare in a future dystopia...or something like that! =P He's definitely not the Scooby character we all know and love, but there are a couple of references throughout. If you enjoy the stories for whatever reason, you can also check out two of the three films below their related stories, or alternatively all three at www.criticalpictures.webs.com
But without further adieu, here's the story!
Operation R.E.L.P Novelisation
Prologue
The hallway…that blasted hallway…it seemed like it stretched on for miles. The walls lined with lockers containing all kinds of terrible machinations crafted by the Kaiser and his lab rats. At the end of the hall lies a door which leads to the prison cells below. But that is not my destination. No, a far worse fate awaits me – death. But not a quick and painless end, oh no…the Kaiser, in his twisted brilliance, has devised drugs that let his victims stay alive and conscious without the need for oxygen. He lets them hang there, choking and suffering, sometimes for days. And that is to be my fate once I reach the end of the hallway. That hallway was where this all began – my death, my rebirth, and my failure. My name is Scooby Doo and this is the story of how I died.
Chapter 1
After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the end of the hallway and entered a large chamber, lined with chairs. Often, the Kaiser likes to watch his victims hang; sometimes inviting other members of his private bourgeoisie to join him. But not today – I have no audience. I've heard stories of hangers putting on a show, trying to please the Kaiser and his guests in a final attempt to hold onto life. But he doesn't care. To him, the life of another is worth nothing. After living for centuries, the Kaiser believes he has transcended life.
You may wonder what crimes one must commit to receive a fate such as this. Well, it's simple – oppose the regime of the Kaiser in any way, shape, or form and you qualify for a gruesome end. Sure, that may not be the official story – the Kaiser will tell some cock and bull story to appease what remains of the traditional legal system. But it's all a lie. After living so long on borrowed time, he's paranoid – scared of everyone and everything taking his precious life away from him. Maybe that's why he revels in the slaughter of others. Maybe in some twisted way, he thinks their end means his continued existence.
My executioner carries me to the front of the room where the gallows sit, waiting to engorge their next victim. He places me on a chair underneath and reaches upwards, pulling down the rope. He slowly ties the noose around my neck, and tightens it forcefully, choking me. Finally…he pulls the chair away, and I fall towards the ground. Instantly, the pain overcomes me. I gasp for air, but it is futile. As my body dangles weightless in the air, my lifeless eyes stare out at the empty room – the horror of my situation finally sinks in. All I can do is wait…
Chapter 2
But in the court of the Kaiser, death does not come swift. I experienced another of his little games. You see, he likes to mess with the minds of his victims, make them think they're losing their minds. He moves them between locations, sometimes even offering hope of help or escape. But it's a trap, one of his many cruel devices of torture. After blacking out, I opened my eyes to find myself in a different room. I stood high above the desks and chairs that filled the room. The walls were painted with many colours and creatures. It was designed to inflame the senses, make you see things that aren't really there. My memory of the experience is limited, however. The only thing I can remember is the camel…as I stared at it, my vision blurred and I found myself once again slipping out of consciousness.
Chapter 3
When I awoke, I found myself tied to a tree, high above the ground. The sun shone brightly in my eyes, blinding me. Now, in addition to keeping his victims alive throughout the hanging, the Kaiser's drug also has hallucinogenic properties. I recall feeling like the world was spinning around me; like I could feel the rotations of the Earth as I dangled in the sky. And then an explosion of colours…red, green, blue, purple, and so many others – my eyes burned as if they were on fire. Finally, everything went black and the world once more moved around me.
Chapter 4
This time however, I wasn't even sure if I was conscious. The room was completely black, with the exception of one small but blinding light source aimed directly at me. Avoiding direct eye-contact with the light, I looked to the walls. The light moved, trying to follow my gaze, and this made the shadows dance on the walls – including my own. As I looked upon my own silhouette, saw the pitiful state I was in, I reflected upon my life…and how this unfortunate fate befell me. Suddenly, I no longer cared about my vendetta against the Kaiser anymore. I simply dreamt of returning home one last time…returning to my family…one…last…time…
Chapter 5
I awoke once more to the blinding sun – it was a new day. A lush, green field stretched out around me. At first, I was struck by the loneliness and emptiness present in such a large and quiet place – but then it hit me. The next wave of hallucinations – the Kaiser wanted me to truly suffer. It felt like I was being bombarded by heavy objects. It may have only been an illusion, but the pain of every one of those strikes is etched into my jaw. Eventually, I could no longer take the punishment and lost consciousness.
Chapter 6
The end was near now – I could feel it. I had been returned to my place of origin – the gallows in that large, empty room. Darkness was overcoming me, slowly but surely, and I wished only for this torment to end. I no longer had the strength to wish for rescue or escape or even to think of happier times – I was an empty husk. It wasn't long before the cold embrace of death took me, and the pain finally ended. But if only that had been the end of things…my journey, you see, was long from finished – and the Kaiser's execution methods were only a small sampling of the trials that were to come.
The Kaiser's Ambition
Before I continue my story, it's important that you understand exactly who the Kaiser is. The Kaiser was born in 1564, but under a different name – William Shakespeare. Yes, the legendary bard himself is the villain of my story. As any high school student could tell you, Shakespeare lived a full life writing and performing plays for the masses. But it is not his life that concerns me, you see. On his deathbed, Shakespeare felt his life was unfulfilled – he had so, so many regrets. And so, he made a deal with the Devil…a deal which would cost him his soul. This agreement allowed Shakespeare to project his consciousness into the body of another person. By stealing the lives of others, he could potentially live forever. Whilst the body of William Shakespeare would cease to function on the 23rd of April 1616, the bitter and twisted man himself lived on, projecting his consciousness into the body of another.
He travelled from body to body, trying to place himself into the most advantageous position. On one particularly fortuitous day, though, he found himself nearby the German Kaiser. Seizing the opportunity, Shakespeare projected his consciousness into the body of the Kaiser, and took all the power that came with it. Taking the name of Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin (The moniker of 'The Third' was added in later years, during instances when Shakespeurtin needed to dissuade people from his true form and age), he proceeded to live on throughout the ages, steadily building up his wealth and power…waiting for the day when he would rule this world. In fact, he did often use his unnatural ability to take control of many of Europe's greatest historical figures. He would quite literally change the course of history to benefit himself. But how did history change – what could it have been? Well, dear reader, we shall never know.
By the early 21st century, the Kaiser had amassed vast riches and a large group of powerful followers. After the space race of the 1960s, the Kaiser put much of his wealth into advancing his private weapons technology. In 2006, though, he put his grand plan into action. The Kaiser threatened the United Nations with his armaments, and demanded that control of the entire world's population be given to him. Whilst the U.N. did eventually give in to his demands, it was not was not without some 'persuasion' from the Kaiser. Control of the Earth was transferred to him within a matter of days. Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin was now the ruler of the world.
But not all accepted this new regime. A rebellion was formed in 2007, and we fought back hard. For a time, our efforts were proving successful. We destroyed many of the Kaiser's weapons installations, and assassinated many of his strongest supporters. But a beast is most dangerous when injured, and the Kaiser's retaliation was brutal. He sent his enforcers after us, and built a gigantic fortified prison complex to exclusively hold captured rebels…at least, until their execution. No one ever made it out of there – the Kaiser's methods were foolproof.
Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin…he came from legendary beginnings, but in the end he proved more monster than man. The mere thought of him makes my stuffing curl…But with that history lesson out of the way, we can continue.
Operation SCRAPPY Novelisation
Prologue
Darkness…after my death, darkness was my only companion. I was stuck in a limbo of sorts – somewhere between death and life. This was the time during which my burial was taking place. I am told that I was carried in a small, cardboard box up a steep grassy hill and to a modest garden, where the gravedigger waited to finish his task. It was a dignified funeral, I'm told. And to be honest, that's more than I ever thought the Kaiser would allow me; although he cares little for matters of death such as this. I think such a sombre occasion reminds him of his own mortality, or maybe…just maybe there is still a slither of humanity left within that husk and it reminds him of the death of his son so many centuries ago. Regardless, the deed was done – in that modest little garden at the top of that steep, grassy hill my body was laid to rest.
Chapter 1
In the midst of the darkness, something suddenly changed…a presence of some sort? Regardless, no longer was I alone. A skeletal hand pierced the blackness. It reached up through the emptiness, and grabbed a hold of my leg. Its grasp was firm, and slowly but surely it began to drag me downwards. I lacked any strength or control over my body – I couldn't even struggle against it. Down, down, down it pulled me. Down, into a nightmare far worse than anything the Kaiser could have constructed. I had been dragged all the way to Hell.
Why had I been sentenced to this fate? Who am I, a mere plush dog, to answer that question? I know not the reason for my punishment, nor do I truly know or understand what this 'Hell' was. A supernatural realm? Or was it my state of mind? I'm afraid these questions are beyond me. All that I can do is to recount my experience – you, dear reader, will have to make up your own mind.
Chapter 2
I awoke within a cell, ironically numbered with the moniker '44'. Alone, I suffered in that cell for what felt like an eternity. No fire or brimstone, no personal demons – just emptiness. At long last, though, a strange man obscured by the darkness appeared and opened my cell door. He spoke strangely as well; had a monotone voice that just didn't quite sound human. He informed me that I had been in solitary confinement for 6 months, and that he was taking me to the aptly named 'Creative Punishment Room C'. We soon arrived, and I was instructed to sit down. Too weak to disagree, I followed the command and sat. Immediately, I was immobilised – resistance was futile, it seemed. There were many punishments, one after the other. Any normal man would have been driven insane, but not me – for I was already a broken husk of my former self. I recall that I did not even blink – my eyes stared vacantly into the dark abyss, ignoring every trial the punishments threw at me. How can you torture someone that has nothing left, after all?
First, my gluttony was tested. A Scooby Snack tied to a string was dangled back and forth in front of me. But I yielded no response. And so 'they' (whoever 'they' were) changed tactics. This time, they projected a film onto a screen, 'Threads' by Barry Hines, trying to extract an emotional response from me. You see, that film reminds me of my brother. However, I was too far gone to care – all they got was more despondency. Another change of tactics – they tried to cause me pain and agony by literally cooking me alive in a microwave. I burned, but still my eyes remained clear and empty, starring into the nether. Their next attempt was their last. They hooked me up to a music system, stuck headphones to my ears, and played some of the most awful music ever crafted by mankind – so bad that I'm inclined to believe it was designed as a torture device. As my ears bled to the harsh tones, though, I remained soulless and empty. Finally, they relinquished their efforts and placed me back into my cell. 6 months later (or so I am told) though, something changed.
Chapter 3
For reasons unknown to myself, I was released from Hell and returned to the world of the living. Up, up, up I flew through the darkness and emerged into the dazzling light of the Sun. What a wonderful thing, to finally be free once more. The blinding rays of light returned something to me almost instantaneously –my vigour, my soul; I was restored…no, far better than that…
I was alive!
…But what now? I sat by my grave for a time, pondering what to do now. I knew that I was tired of political struggles and my war with the Kaiser. As I stood, a wrinkled piece of paper fell out onto the ground. I picked it up, and carefully unfolded the frail sheet. It was a note, short and simple: "Umina – Find me." I couldn't believe that the note had survived the horrors alongside me. Even though it was a long-shot, I decided to set out for Umina to find him. It wasn't going to be easy though. The Kaiser's dictatorship had turned the world into a dystopia – people were desperate, and crime was rampant. Regardless of the challenges, I put the note back in my pocket and set off on my quest.
Luck, it seems though, was not on my side.
I spent two wretched days wandering the urban ghettos. I was mugged, beaten, ignored, and my resolve was wavering. I made my way to the waterfront – at least the Kaiser had not yet robbed nature of her beauty. Once more, I unfurled the note. Across the lake, I could see my goal – so close, and yet so far…
Chapter 4
My resolve strengthened once more, I returned to the roads and tried to gain help from passersby. I waited, paw out-stretched, for hours on end. But not a single car stopped. The world was different then you see, dear reader – people were trapped in their own little worlds…and they cared little for those outside them. Now, that is not to say that people were bad. Oh no - not by any means. But they cared about themselves first and foremost – they looked inwards, towards themselves, rather than out at the great wide world and all the others that inhabit it. And who could blame them? The world was a horrible mess, thanks to the regime of the Kaiser. Why not escape into your own safe little world, rather than face the horrors of everyday life?
Still without a ride, I decided to change tactics. I made a small sign and offered my services to anyone that would drive me to Umina. Exactly what those services were…I'd rather not record in this journal. But that too failed to attract attention from the cars passing by. I abandoned my sign and sat, resting in a gutter. However, at long last one person did stop for me. He opened the door, lifted me up to my seat, and helped me get strapped in. After my time wandering the streets, this act of kindness helped to bolster my spirits greatly. I informed him that I wished to travel to Umina, and he agreed to take me there. Finally I was on my way. As I sat there, I suddenly realised how exhausted I felt. My eyes grew heavy and I slowly began to fall asleep. But one thought kept me awake throughout the journey…"Brother…after all this time, will you still be waiting for me when I arrive?"
In the Service of the Kaiser
I have told you the history of the Kaiser himself, but there is another figure in my tale whose story should be told – his minion. The Kaiser has always surrounded himself with people whose loyalty could be bought with wealth and privilege to carry out his more menial tasks – but this latest incarnation in a long line of sycophants is a little bit different.
The minion was abandoned as a baby by his parents, and was found by none other than the Kaiser. Why he took the child in I shall never know, but take the boy into his home he did. The Kaiser raised him from an infant - not as a son but as a slave. He never even gave the child a name. And yet, the Kaiser is all the minion has ever had – the one consistent thing in his life. The minion grew up idolising the Kaiser, thinking of him as a Father-figure of sorts. Whilst the Kaiser did not treat his minion well, he was never cruel to the boy and did provide for his basic needs – food, lodging, and education. And this made the minion loyal to the Kaiser – far more so than money and power could ever make a normal man.
When the Kaiser came into power, he did not forget his young subordinate. Whilst I highly doubt that the Kaiser ever truly cared about the man, his reward was great. The minion was given a high seat of power in the new regime, and with it came many comforts that were new to him. The Kaiser continued to keep him close-by, but overall the minion had gained the freedom to do what he wanted…unless his master called, that is.
Curious about his past (the Kaiser had never made any secret of the fact that he was adopted), the minion decided to take this opportunity to track down his biological parents. It took many years and the expenditure of much wealth, but eventually…he succeeded. However, this would not be a happy reunion.
The Kaiser had found a group of rebels and instructed his minion to eliminate them. As always, the Kaiser's forces were ruthlessly efficient. It wasn't long before the rebels had been annihilated. Whilst inspecting the bodies, however, the minion found something horrible – his parents were among the dead. They had been among the many that opposed the Kaiser's regime. Exactly how this discovery impacted on the minion…we shall never know.
Regardless of these events, his loyalty to the Kaiser remained until the end. The minion may have been my enemy, but the loyalty and service he gave to the Kaiser, the only Father he's ever known…well now that is something even I can respect.
My Brother
So…you want to know about 'Britty', eh? Feh…Forcing this old dog to bring up painful memories…Well, I guess I can't blame you for being curious. And I suppose, after all, his tale is an important one. Alright, alright… you've twisted my paw.
I grew up in an orphanage you see, and my one friend there was a boy named Britannicus…or 'Britty' for short. Although I was a few years older than him, we grew up together – we were just like brothers. I would often tell him stories of my imaginary exploits – even then I was an avid storyteller, you see. He especially loved the ones about solving mysteries.
We were always close…and after the Kaiser took power, we became even closer. He convinced me that the Kaiser had to be stopped; that we had to step up and create an organised resistance movement if things were going to go back to the way they were. Britty never did much like politics. Together, we formed the rebellion and vowed to end the Kaiser's reign of terror. Things went very well at first. We had the Kaiser on the ropes…or so we thought. He retaliated, and the casualties were immense. But nevertheless, we pushed on. We had to 'free the world', as he put it, after all.
On the day I was captured by the Kaiser's minion, I was on my way to meet with Britty. He had sent me a note; told me to meet him in Umina. Now, you know what happened to me next…and I'd prefer not to repeat describing that experience. However, what I did not learn until…far too late…was that Britty had learned of my capture, and tried to rescue me. He went to our headquarters and tried to convince everyone to go on a daring rescue. They told him to wait, to plan…but he was brash. He knew what the Kaiser did to prisoners. He wanted to save me from that fate. Alone, he broke into the Kaiser's prison complex. He fought his way through floor after floor of guards, searching for me. The hallway…that blasted hallway… - that's how far he made it before he was finally gunned down by the full might of the Kaiser's security force. He died mere metres from me…and I never even knew.
…He was a damn fool, that Britty…damn bloody fool…
With both its leaders dead, the Rebellion broke in a matter of months. All that we had strived for, all the men and women that had fought beside us - everything was ruined…and everyone was dead. I'd like to say I regret nothing; that in the end it was all worth it, but…that just wouldn't be true. If we hadn't ever formed that rebellion, then maybe…maybe he'd still be here today.
Ah…but you don't need to listen to the ramblings of this old dog…
…Excuse me a moment, won't you dear reader? I…I think I need some rest...
Yes…rest…
Operation SCOOBY Novelisation
Chapter 1
The fan spun softly, sitting low underneath the tall ceiling but still high above my head. I sat quietly on the cream lounge, waiting for my host to return from his kitchen. It wasn't long before he appeared. As he walked towards me, tea cup in hand, I noticed that his long, purposeful strides showed a vigour that wasn't present when I first turned up at his door. I suppose he was grateful for the company, even if I was a stranger. As the man sat down on the lounge opposite mine, he began to speak. "So, Mr…Doo, was it? What can I do for you?"
I took a deep breath before answering – as you now know, dear reader; my tale is one that takes some explaining. I told him everything – the Kaiser, my death, my rebirth, Britty…well, almost everything – I left out the part about the rebellion. "That's…quite a tale, Mr. Doo." There was a long silence after my story was spun. To break it, I took out the note that Britty had left me and handed it to the man, letting him read it for himself, hoping that it in some way validated my story.
Now before I go on, dear reader, I'm sure you're wondering – just who is this man? Ah, now that is, for once, a simple answer. After making it to Umina, I was searching for Britty. This man, you see, lived just across the road from Brittanicus' old house – my old friend had spoken of him as a kind neighbour. Hoping to find some clue as to Brittanicus' whereabouts, I visited him.
"I'm afraid I can't help you." The man said, breaking the silence. "I haven't seen your friend in; let's see…a little over a year now. It was odd. One night, some vans turned up at his house – Kaiser's men, no doubt. Cleaned the place out and left it derelict – no one's been in there since." My heart sank at this news – Brittanicus, it seemed, had not been in Umina since I last saw him. Seeing my disappointment, the man continued to speak. "I don't know what happened to your friend, Mr. Doo, but if the Kaiser is involved, I doubt that you'll ever see him again."
It was a harsh statement, yes, but this was a fact of life under the Kaiser's regime. People would often go missing – rebels, conscientious objectors, people that were too smart for their own good. Attachment to others was considered a risk, and very few friends were made back then. Empty, lonely, paranoid, and loyal – that is how the Kaiser liked his pets.
"I think it's time for you to leave." The man stood and showed me to the door. I could see his fear – perhaps he thought that by speaking to me, he was putting himself at risk of 'disappearing' too. I left his house with a heavy heart, but I was not going to let myself become dismayed – there was still hope, and my search would continue.
Chapter 2
After leaving the house, I decided that I was unlikely to find anything else about Brittanicus in Umina, and so began my journey out of the city on-foot. However, having learned of my return, just across the lake, the Kaiser and his minion were hunting me.
Now before continuing, I suppose I should describe the Kaiser's current incarnation. His form was young, around 18 years of age, but still effortlessly commanded authority and displayed a dark ruthlessness. He retained his beard – a trademark of sorts - although its growth was far thinner than that of his past hosts. His eyes were masked by a pair of pitch black sunglasses – the Kaiser had grown to dislike the sunlight. And finally, as he had done since the Second World War, he wore his signature black trench-coat – a relic, symbolic of authority, that he gained through committing great bloodshed (but that in itself is a story for another time). But now, what of the poor minion? He had curly hair and a beard similar to the Kaiser's. Emulating his master, the minion wore a long grey trench-coat that, whilst still impressive, clearly denoted him as being worth less than the Kaiser.
As the two men walked side-by-side under the burning sun, the minion read out a list of accounts from passers-by that had witnessed me on my journey to Umina. "Well my Kaiser, we have unconfirmed reports of Scooby Doo being sighted in Gundagai and…Gosford…Wyong…Narara…" The list was full of conflicting reports – I could have been anywhere on the coast. Without warning, the Kaiser stopped dead in his tracks (the minion continued walking for a time after this before realising the lack of his master's presence) and turned to face the water. He now stood on the same hill that I had a mere two days ago, staring out over the water and into the heart of Umina. Slowly he raised his hand up until it lay in front of his face, blocking the city from his vision.
Now, it is important here to note that the Kaiser always spoke in German. It was not that he couldn't speak English (or a great many other languages for that matter), but simply that the language of his namesake was his preference. For your convenience, dear reader, I have translated the words he spoke into English.
"Scooby, Scooby Doo…Where are you?" His words echoed across the lake, reverberating throughout his natural surroundings. As the Kaiser spoke these last words, he clenched his hand into a fist – from his point of view, it looked as if he was crushing the city across the lake in his hand. Now, you may ask, why did he perform this seemingly pointless action? The answer is simply that – he 'performed' it. Remember, the Kaiser had once been William Shakespeare. Even in this wretched form he was still, at heart, a man of drama and the theatre. The minion was used to the Kaiser making scenes like this, and knew his place as audience well.
After a short pause, the Kaiser quickly turned on the stop to face his minion. "Where was he last sighted?" The minion was surprised by the sudden action, but quickly regained his composure before replying "Umina, my Kaiser." For the briefest of moments, a twisted smile appeared on the Kaiser's face. He once more began walking, striding straight past the minion, and started to speak. "Ready the guns…" the Kaiser calmly ordered. "Umina shall burn."
It had turned to night when the order was finally carried out. The fuse of the first gun was lit. Hundreds of fiery yellow sparks emitted from the bottom of the mechanism and then the first shot was finally launched. It went streaking through the air, emitting a tail of red, orange and yellow as it travelled silently, higher…further…faster...
BOOM!
The shot burst into a spray of flame, lighting up the entire city of Umina. The sound travelled fast, and as soon as my plush ears heard it, I knew exactly what it was – the Kaiser was using fireworks.
Now I'm sure I know what you're thinking here – 'Fireworks? What's so dangerous or deadly about them?' Well, dear reader, you have obviously never seen the Kaiser's fireworks. Much like a traditional firework, these burst into a shower of beautiful, glittering lights before dissipating into darkness – however, the Kaiser's leave something behind: A deadly compound designed by Shakespeurtin's weapons division. This compound falls to the ground – it lays silent on the pavement, the roads, the grass, on the roofs of cars and houses. Then, it ignites – everything that it touches is set ablaze and the compound spreads the flames to every corner of the targeted area. Within an hour, an entire city can be set ablaze. After three, most of the buildings will have been destroyed and a majority of the populace burnt alive. Wait five hours, and little more than ashes will remain of that city. This was to be the fate of Umina.
Knowing all this, the moment I heard that sound I ran. I ran, and ran, and ran until my stubby little legs couldn't run anymore. I saw the fireworks burn and crackle in the sky above; heard the explosions overhead and the screams of the poor civilians who had been set alight and were burning with their homes – but I did not stop running. I managed to escape unscathed into a thick patch of bush on the outskirts of the city. But none else were so lucky.
On that day, Umina was burnt to the ground – and I didn't care.
Chapter 3
'Why?' you may ask (or more strongly, perhaps 'How could you?'). What kind of plush dog is it that can walk away from a burning city, leaving hundreds of dead in their wake, totally un-phased? Dear reader, you may have had the impression that I was the hero of this story (at least, that's what history would endeavour to make you believe) but in truth, I was little better than the Kaiser. Both of us were trying to complete a selfish and personal goal and we both cared nothing for those who got in our way. Just because I didn't intend for death and destruction doesn't mean that I'm cleared of all blame. My presence in Umina was the reason for the Kaiser's bombardment.
None of these thoughts had yet arisen in my mind as I wandered through the dense bush – but it was not long before the full repercussions for my actions would come to bear. For many hours I marched under the trees, disturbing the wildlife that rested below the thick fallout of leaves and braches covering the ground (including one particularly unhappy snake; angry at the Kaiser's fireworks for disturbing his sleep but directing his anger at me). It wasn't long before night turned to dawn, and dawn to day – at which time, I finally came to the end of my trek through the brush.
After overcoming the blinding light of the sun (for being immersed in the thick bush for so many hours had made my eyes accustomed to the darkness) I found myself on the rocks near the water - around the other side of the lake that sat next to Umina. I sat on those rocks for a short time, taking in the marvellous scene. It is no secret that I have always liked being near the water, and after the events of the previous night I found it to be quite a rejuvenating experience. Now that I knew the Kaiser was after me, however, there was little chance for rest. I rose to my feet and resumed my journey.
At the same time, only a few miles away, the Kaiser sat in the back seat of his car, silently awaiting news of my death. The door opened and the minion stepped into the driver's seat, but the Kaiser didn't so much as open his eyes. He did, however, flinch when he learned that I was still alive. It would seem a survivor of the catastrophe witnessed my escape. In the more colourful words of the minion, "My Kaiser, Scooby Doo has fled into the woods like the dog that he is. If we hurry, we can catch him at the old cemetery". Even though the news had taken him by surprise, the Kaiser remained silent and motionless. "Err…My Kaiser? Shouldn't we go after him?" Finally, the Kaiser responded, but not in the way the minion was expecting. "No." Confused, but having learned better than to question the orders of his master, the minion turned around, started up the car, and drove away.
Chapter 4
I came upon a small set of stone steps which lead up to a thin, winding road of concrete, reinforced by long wooden planks to ensure that nature would not quickly regain the land. After passing these, I found myself on a gravel path in the midst of an old graveyard. Many of these gravestones were old – very old. But one in particular caught my eye. It was weathered, but still much younger and clearer than its nearby siblings. Some plant-life had grown over the top of it, covering the stone slab with a myriad of green and red leaves. I don't know what it was that compelled me to do so, but with my paw I carefully brushed aside the shrubbery. It was then that my heart stopped and my mind went blank. On the grave was a simple inscription, but one that I had only seen in my darkest nightmares. 'R.I.P Brittanicus' – my brother was no more.
I don't remember when it happened, but I found myself collapsed on the ground, staring up into the dark, ominous sky. What had it all been for? I had been so obsessed with finding Brittanicus – the sheer notion that he was dead…I simply could not accept it. My mind was a chaotic mess of empty thoughts and promises. But then, a memory shone through the darkness. I remembered one time when I fell down as a child and hurt my ankle. Brittanicus scooped me up in and his hands and carried me to a nearby seat. I suddenly felt strength, and I picked myself up off the ground.
I stumbled a short distance, my mind a storm of memories, thoughts, and regrets. For the first time, I reflected on the people of Umina, the kind home-owner whom I had met the previous day, and the many others who had died because of my actions (for it was not the first city to burn in the Kaiser's search for the rebellion). The fact that I put them in danger was bad enough; but the notion that I didn't even care that their lives had been extinguished...I looked down at my paws and simply, quietly asked myself the question – "What have I become?"
I wished that I had someone to pose that question to; someone that could reassure or even condemn me. But I didn't. I was alone – now I didn't have a single friend in the world. Another memory shot to the forefront of my mind. I recalled one occasion when Brittanicus and I sat on the edge of the waterfront, dangling our feet over the edge and eating from a large tub of ice cream (this was prior to the Kaiser's rule, you see). I made a joke – I can't even remember what it was, but it made Britty laugh long and hard. The memory of that moment made me feel warm…It was almost as though I could see him there with me in the graveyard.
But he wasn't…he was dead. I tried to imagine exactly how he could have died. Now if you have read the rest of my tale, dear reader, you know the details but at that time I knew nothing. I imagined him being gunned down by the Kaiser's men in some daring crusade against one of Shakespeurtin's facilities (if only I'd known how close I was to the truth I actually was) – he was far too stubborn to be killed by anything other than a rain of bullets.
I continued to stumble around the graveyard and happened upon a park bench. I sat down there and pondered. "If only I could start again…" I thought to myself. "I could…I would find a way to save him. If only…" Then, in the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, I heard a mocking voice. "You have nothing left now, eh Scooby?" My mind, it seemed, had made the Kaiser the embodiment of my internal darkness. Again it spoke "Isn't it time for you to give up?"…and then it faded away.
In the depths of my despair, I decided what to do. I would find the Kaiser…and let him kill me.
Chapter 5
I began a solemn march through the graveyard and beyond. I was resolute in my decision – no one else was going to die because of me. As I walked past the gravestones, plants, and pillars of wood that decorated the area, I recalled all the tragic events that led me to this point. My parents…the orphanage…Britty and the rebellion…that blasted hallway…my execution…my delirium…my burial…my imprisonment…my torture…my escape…the note…my journey to Umina…and the events of the last few hours. Premature though it was, my life truly flashed before my eyes. I walked past houses, roads, and cars, lead on my path by some strange feeling, before finally I reached a little hill that lead down to the water. As I walked closer, I saw two shapes take form in the distance, getting progressively closer to me. I had found the Kaiser and his minion – and my end was now set in stone.
We stood a mere few metres apart for the first time in years. The Kaiser took the first step towards me. "So you have accepted your fate, eh?" His pace quickened. "Very well!" I felt a sharp pain as the Kaiser's foot collided with my face and sent me tumbling to the ground. The Kaiser waited, taking a pause before continuing my punishment. I looked up and saw him towering above me – the very sky above appeared to darken through his presence.
The Kaiser leant down closer to me. "I am the Fuhrer!" He stomped his foot hard onto my body, crushing me effortlessly. "I am the Kaiser!" Again! "I am Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III!" This time he kicked me, sending me flying across the ground before landing with a thud once more on the hard asphalt. He walked over to my broken body, but this time the minion also made a move (once more playing the role of audience to the Kaiser's great victory).
The rain was now coming down hard. My body was numb from the beating, but my face felt the icy touch of each drop. I was only barely aware of what was going on around me anymore. The Kaiser, circling me like a shark ready for the kill, continued to taunt. "If death is what you desire, then I shall gladly give it to you!" Once more, he stomped hard on my battered and broken body. Having enjoyed the dramatic performance, the Kaiser was now ready to end it. He took out a pistol from his trench-coats pocket and held it aloft at my face. "It's over."
The shot rang out through the town and across the water – and my life was ended.
Chapter 6
I found myself in a completely white expanse – I could not see anything, not even my own paws in front of me. Any movements I made felt strange, as if I was moving both fast and slowly; falling and rising; walking left and right – it was almost as though I was moving outside of time and space. I turned back and forth, trying to glimpse some break in the infinity.
And then, the white expanse began to swirl around me like a gust of wind. I felt a presence draw near – although exactly what, I could not say. It spoke to me…and yet, it didn't. I knew the words and their meanings, although no language did it speak. Each syllable brought with it a sense of comfort, purpose…and familiarity – almost nostalgia. What did I hear, dear reader? Seven words..."Scooby, you must go back. It's…critical." A vitality and strength that I had not felt in a long time surged within me – and I knew what I had to do.
The white expanse began to dissipate, and with it's disappearance came the return of my senses. The first thing I noticed was the feel of grass under my feet, and the reeds that were touching my face. I was a field, covered in overgrowth far exceeding my height. The time I spent there felt like an eternity – wandering through the dandelions, reeds, and thickets. But eventually, I pushed my way through one final piece of the brush and saw the sky.
I had returned.
Now dear reader, before I continue you must understand – like my experience in 'Hell', I truly do not know what this account details. Some form of Heaven? A mental illusion? Who is to say? For it seems that in my life-time, regardless of all the advancements we have made, that the mysteries of this world remain deep, plentiful, and undisturbed.
Chapter 7
Whilst I slept, only a few moments had passed. The Kaiser, having handed his gun to the minion, was walking away. "M-m-m-my Kaiser! He's-" The minion was the first to notice my return. I rose to my feet quickly, and stared defiantly at the Kaiser. "So…you're still alive." The Kaiser turned and began to walk towards me. "However…you have escaped death for the last time!" The Kaiser stopped mid-stride, removed his trench-coat, and threw it disparagingly to the minion, who only barely managed to catch it.
We stared each-other down. As I looked into those cold, dark eyes I saw only the shell of a man. Whatever joy, kindness, wit, or love that he had once possessed was long dead. I knew that I had to put an end to him. But still I wondered…when he looked into my eyes, did he not see much the same thing? While history paints our battle as a great triumph of good over evil, in truth it was but two cold, broken, old men fighting to the death – one for hatred, the other for vengeance.
Shakespeurtin snapped and lunged at me with a forceful punch. I swiftly dodged, moving like a flash of lightning and circling round behind him – the Kaiser's fist found only the hard ground. I had no idea how I did it – I was a skilled fighter in the rebellion, and my size had always been handy in bewildering my opponent, but never had I moved so quickly. My foe was just as bewildered as I was, scouring the ground for my position, but soon he found me and our battle continued.
The rain was heavy now – I felt the cold of each drop on my plush skin. The Kaiser ran towards me and attempted to knock me down with a kick. I leapt high above the ground, avoiding his attack, and rolled around behind him. Like my speed, I found that I could now reach tremendous heights, especially for my stature. Once more, the Kaiser was confused by my disappearance. I decided to take advantage of this, as well as my newfound agility.
I taunted the Kaiser, leaping up behind him and then disappearing when he tried to attack me. The final punch, however, nearly reached its mark, flying just above my head. I grasped it with my paw and pulled myself up onto his out-stretched arm. As I ran towards his head, I could see the mix of rage and disbelief in Shakespeurtin's features. Drawing my arm back, I let fly a devastating punch into the Kaiser's face. As he stumbled backwards, I dropped from his arm. However, he was quick.
The Kaiser lunged; gripping my neck and holding me limp in mid-air. I struggled, but his grip was tight. But then, I bit down hard on his finger. Cursing, he threw me to the ground. As I regained my breath, I saw Shakespeurtin draw a long, sharp silver knife from his pocket – he would fight dirty, after all. With a flick of his wrist and expert precision, he threw the blade at me. It swiftly tore through the air, hurtling towards my face. But it had no chance of finding its mark while it was against my new-found abilities. I caught the knife in my paw, and spun around, redistributing the weight and preparing for my final assault.
These next moments felt like they lasted an eternity – it was like I perceived things outside the flow of time. I studied my foe for a moment: Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III - the man who had brought the human race to its knees and made the world his; the man who had taken everything from me. I held in my paws the tool of his demise. I felt the cool metal on my skin, flexed my fingers on its hilt, saw the rain drops run down its length, coating the blade in liquid.
My feet left the ground and I hurtled in the air towards the Kaiser. As I flew, I reflected on every single event that had lead up to this point – so many images flashed before my eyes. And then, in a moment, it was over. My blade pierced his flesh and he fell to the ground. I stood on top of him and continued to plunge the cold metal deeper into his chest. I could feel the blood on my paws. As the last bit of strength left his body, I looked deep into his eyes. Even faced with death, those eyes were still just as cold and dark as they had always been – there was nothing behind them. And then I understood. In the end, it seems, the Kaiser was simply a part that Shakespeurtin was playing.
Chapter 8
"My Kaiser!" The minion ran over and fell to his knees in front of Shakespeurtin's broken body. I had already moved away and now stood with my back to them. He pulled the knife out, tossing it away onto the grass, and rested a hand on the Kaiser's chest. Trembling, he picked up the Kaiser's pistol, and rose. "SCOOBY!" he rang out, the pain in his voice curdling my stuffing. He pointed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger over and over again – but the gun was empty. He continued to pull the trigger -the 'click' of the mechanism sounding over and over again - but it was in vain. He threw the gun to the ground and once more collapsed on his knees. The world may have celebrated the Kaiser's death, but not the minion. He mourned the death of the man who raised him, the man he had always looked up to – the man he loved as a Father.
I began to walk away. But as I walked, I heard the Kaiser speak his last words to the minion. The Kaiser grasped the minion's back, hauling himself up. With his final breath, he spoke four little words – "The Hippos…are coming." If only I had known at the time how important those few, strange words would be in the coming years. Regardless, the Kaiser fell to the ground. Finally, at long last, he was dead.
Slowly, the minion stood and turned away from the body of his master. After removing his own grey trench-coat, the minion took up the mantle of the Kaiser, putting on the signature black coat. He walked away down the road, leaving Shakespeurtin's body to the elements.
Chapter 9
I turned the ignition key and the engine roared to life. Sticking my head out the window, I took one last look at the site of the battle before driving off. I had unfinished business that I had to take care of, and for this purpose I had commandeered the Kaiser's car. I drove down a familiar path, following the road I had taken on my death march only an hour ago. This journey was certainly not as dark, but it was no less sombre.
I pulled up in front of the Graveyard and got out of the car. I continued to follow my path on foot. Along the way, I noticed a bush filled with white, blooming flowers. I picked one and continued silently on my way. After passing many memorials to those long gone, I reached my destination.
Brittanicus' gravestone was just the way I had left it, of course. I think I was expecting some difference – so much had happened in so short a time, after all. I sat and starred at the grave for a time and once more reflected on my life. After an hour or so, I arose and walked away – leaving behind a single white flower, and the note that Brittanicus had written to me over a year ago.
"Goodbye…old friend."
Tales of a Plush Dog
So, after all is said and done, there is but one last story to tell. No need to be coy now, dear reader, I know what you want to hear – who is Scooby Doo? Where did he come from? What's his story? Heh…fine. Gather 'round and I'll tell you just who this old dog is.
Now, I've told you before that I grew up in an orphanage, but how does one get to an orphanage? I was young when it happened. My parents were very well-to-do – made their fortune selling stock after the war. Their riches made them big players in New York, and they attracted all kinds of attention from people who wanted funding. One such person was Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III. Trying to build up his support base before he put his master plan into action, Shakespeurtin made deals with the rich and powerful from all over the world. Unfortunately, my family fit that description perfectly.
The Kaiser met with my parents; revealed his history, his abilities, and his plan to them. When my father refused to be a part of the plan, Shakespeurtin did the unthinkable – he killed them…killed them both in cold blood. Not only did he steal their lives, but also their wallets – their bank accounts were drained suddenly and silently.
Where was I in all this, you may ask? I was right there, with my parents. I watched them die…The Kaiser directed his cold smile at me, and stared his deathless eyes into mine. I'll never forget those eyes…it was like they belonged to another person; reflecting all the ages of hatred and anger that had punctuated the Kaiser's long life. They were the cage that held the beast – a beast whose ferocity and malice towards all who stand against him would one day bring the world to the brink of destruction. Why did the Kaiser spare me? It wasn't compassion or regret; no…this man wanted me to keep on living, to suffer for the decision of my father.
Shakespeurtin sent me to an orphanage across the sea in Australia – the most remote place in western society you could possibly send a plush dog. I introduced myself as Scoobert Doo (my full name), but everyone just called me Scooby. After so many years living there, the name just kind of stuck. Times were tough, but it wasn't all bad. Thanks to my friendship with Britty and the other kids at the orphanage who knew nothing of my background, I could hide from my past – pretend that I was someone else. I grew up and lead a normal life – at least, as normal a life as an orphan plush dog can lead.
Earlier in this tale, I told you dear reader that Britty was the one that convinced me to form the rebellion. Well…that's only partly true. Saving the world was all fine and dandy, but what I really wanted was revenge – for my parents…and for the life I lost that day. I was young, short-sighted and terribly foolish. That decision may have saved the world, but it also cost me the closest thing to family I had left.
Mine is a truly ironic story. If my parents hadn't opposed Shakespeurtin, I would have led a life of wealth and privilege, and might have worked for the Kaiser's regime. What if I had been the one to pull the trigger which killed Britty and so many other rebels that, in this reality, I called friends? And what if I had not formed the rebellion? Would the world have been saved by another? Or would the Kaiser have continued to rule the dystopian wasteland he called an empire? I wonder…oh how I wonder, dear reader…
…Has my life ever truly been mine to lead?
The Truth
And so, dear reader, that is my story…
This is my story…
This is just a story…
Nothing…
Hehehehehehe…
My name is Scooby Doo…
Hahahahahaha...
…and this is the story of how I died…
Ratatata…Ratatata…
…and this is the story of how I lived…
…damn fool, that Britty…
…and this is the story of how I lied…
Here lies Brittanicus…
…Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III…
What are you?…
…Liar…
Keheheh…kahahaha…
It's all an illusion…
Hee hee hee…
The Kaiser…myself…and…
"The hallway…that blasted hallway…"
…You.
The story's over for now! Thanks for reading, everyone, and make sure you keep an eye out for Scooby's next adventure – the Hippos are coming…
But without further adieu, here's the story!
Operation R.E.L.P Novelisation
Prologue
The hallway…that blasted hallway…it seemed like it stretched on for miles. The walls lined with lockers containing all kinds of terrible machinations crafted by the Kaiser and his lab rats. At the end of the hall lies a door which leads to the prison cells below. But that is not my destination. No, a far worse fate awaits me – death. But not a quick and painless end, oh no…the Kaiser, in his twisted brilliance, has devised drugs that let his victims stay alive and conscious without the need for oxygen. He lets them hang there, choking and suffering, sometimes for days. And that is to be my fate once I reach the end of the hallway. That hallway was where this all began – my death, my rebirth, and my failure. My name is Scooby Doo and this is the story of how I died.
Chapter 1
After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the end of the hallway and entered a large chamber, lined with chairs. Often, the Kaiser likes to watch his victims hang; sometimes inviting other members of his private bourgeoisie to join him. But not today – I have no audience. I've heard stories of hangers putting on a show, trying to please the Kaiser and his guests in a final attempt to hold onto life. But he doesn't care. To him, the life of another is worth nothing. After living for centuries, the Kaiser believes he has transcended life.
You may wonder what crimes one must commit to receive a fate such as this. Well, it's simple – oppose the regime of the Kaiser in any way, shape, or form and you qualify for a gruesome end. Sure, that may not be the official story – the Kaiser will tell some cock and bull story to appease what remains of the traditional legal system. But it's all a lie. After living so long on borrowed time, he's paranoid – scared of everyone and everything taking his precious life away from him. Maybe that's why he revels in the slaughter of others. Maybe in some twisted way, he thinks their end means his continued existence.
My executioner carries me to the front of the room where the gallows sit, waiting to engorge their next victim. He places me on a chair underneath and reaches upwards, pulling down the rope. He slowly ties the noose around my neck, and tightens it forcefully, choking me. Finally…he pulls the chair away, and I fall towards the ground. Instantly, the pain overcomes me. I gasp for air, but it is futile. As my body dangles weightless in the air, my lifeless eyes stare out at the empty room – the horror of my situation finally sinks in. All I can do is wait…
Chapter 2
But in the court of the Kaiser, death does not come swift. I experienced another of his little games. You see, he likes to mess with the minds of his victims, make them think they're losing their minds. He moves them between locations, sometimes even offering hope of help or escape. But it's a trap, one of his many cruel devices of torture. After blacking out, I opened my eyes to find myself in a different room. I stood high above the desks and chairs that filled the room. The walls were painted with many colours and creatures. It was designed to inflame the senses, make you see things that aren't really there. My memory of the experience is limited, however. The only thing I can remember is the camel…as I stared at it, my vision blurred and I found myself once again slipping out of consciousness.
Chapter 3
When I awoke, I found myself tied to a tree, high above the ground. The sun shone brightly in my eyes, blinding me. Now, in addition to keeping his victims alive throughout the hanging, the Kaiser's drug also has hallucinogenic properties. I recall feeling like the world was spinning around me; like I could feel the rotations of the Earth as I dangled in the sky. And then an explosion of colours…red, green, blue, purple, and so many others – my eyes burned as if they were on fire. Finally, everything went black and the world once more moved around me.
Chapter 4
This time however, I wasn't even sure if I was conscious. The room was completely black, with the exception of one small but blinding light source aimed directly at me. Avoiding direct eye-contact with the light, I looked to the walls. The light moved, trying to follow my gaze, and this made the shadows dance on the walls – including my own. As I looked upon my own silhouette, saw the pitiful state I was in, I reflected upon my life…and how this unfortunate fate befell me. Suddenly, I no longer cared about my vendetta against the Kaiser anymore. I simply dreamt of returning home one last time…returning to my family…one…last…time…
Chapter 5
I awoke once more to the blinding sun – it was a new day. A lush, green field stretched out around me. At first, I was struck by the loneliness and emptiness present in such a large and quiet place – but then it hit me. The next wave of hallucinations – the Kaiser wanted me to truly suffer. It felt like I was being bombarded by heavy objects. It may have only been an illusion, but the pain of every one of those strikes is etched into my jaw. Eventually, I could no longer take the punishment and lost consciousness.
Chapter 6
The end was near now – I could feel it. I had been returned to my place of origin – the gallows in that large, empty room. Darkness was overcoming me, slowly but surely, and I wished only for this torment to end. I no longer had the strength to wish for rescue or escape or even to think of happier times – I was an empty husk. It wasn't long before the cold embrace of death took me, and the pain finally ended. But if only that had been the end of things…my journey, you see, was long from finished – and the Kaiser's execution methods were only a small sampling of the trials that were to come.
The Kaiser's Ambition
Before I continue my story, it's important that you understand exactly who the Kaiser is. The Kaiser was born in 1564, but under a different name – William Shakespeare. Yes, the legendary bard himself is the villain of my story. As any high school student could tell you, Shakespeare lived a full life writing and performing plays for the masses. But it is not his life that concerns me, you see. On his deathbed, Shakespeare felt his life was unfulfilled – he had so, so many regrets. And so, he made a deal with the Devil…a deal which would cost him his soul. This agreement allowed Shakespeare to project his consciousness into the body of another person. By stealing the lives of others, he could potentially live forever. Whilst the body of William Shakespeare would cease to function on the 23rd of April 1616, the bitter and twisted man himself lived on, projecting his consciousness into the body of another.
He travelled from body to body, trying to place himself into the most advantageous position. On one particularly fortuitous day, though, he found himself nearby the German Kaiser. Seizing the opportunity, Shakespeare projected his consciousness into the body of the Kaiser, and took all the power that came with it. Taking the name of Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin (The moniker of 'The Third' was added in later years, during instances when Shakespeurtin needed to dissuade people from his true form and age), he proceeded to live on throughout the ages, steadily building up his wealth and power…waiting for the day when he would rule this world. In fact, he did often use his unnatural ability to take control of many of Europe's greatest historical figures. He would quite literally change the course of history to benefit himself. But how did history change – what could it have been? Well, dear reader, we shall never know.
By the early 21st century, the Kaiser had amassed vast riches and a large group of powerful followers. After the space race of the 1960s, the Kaiser put much of his wealth into advancing his private weapons technology. In 2006, though, he put his grand plan into action. The Kaiser threatened the United Nations with his armaments, and demanded that control of the entire world's population be given to him. Whilst the U.N. did eventually give in to his demands, it was not was not without some 'persuasion' from the Kaiser. Control of the Earth was transferred to him within a matter of days. Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin was now the ruler of the world.
But not all accepted this new regime. A rebellion was formed in 2007, and we fought back hard. For a time, our efforts were proving successful. We destroyed many of the Kaiser's weapons installations, and assassinated many of his strongest supporters. But a beast is most dangerous when injured, and the Kaiser's retaliation was brutal. He sent his enforcers after us, and built a gigantic fortified prison complex to exclusively hold captured rebels…at least, until their execution. No one ever made it out of there – the Kaiser's methods were foolproof.
Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin…he came from legendary beginnings, but in the end he proved more monster than man. The mere thought of him makes my stuffing curl…But with that history lesson out of the way, we can continue.
Operation SCRAPPY Novelisation
Prologue
Darkness…after my death, darkness was my only companion. I was stuck in a limbo of sorts – somewhere between death and life. This was the time during which my burial was taking place. I am told that I was carried in a small, cardboard box up a steep grassy hill and to a modest garden, where the gravedigger waited to finish his task. It was a dignified funeral, I'm told. And to be honest, that's more than I ever thought the Kaiser would allow me; although he cares little for matters of death such as this. I think such a sombre occasion reminds him of his own mortality, or maybe…just maybe there is still a slither of humanity left within that husk and it reminds him of the death of his son so many centuries ago. Regardless, the deed was done – in that modest little garden at the top of that steep, grassy hill my body was laid to rest.
Chapter 1
In the midst of the darkness, something suddenly changed…a presence of some sort? Regardless, no longer was I alone. A skeletal hand pierced the blackness. It reached up through the emptiness, and grabbed a hold of my leg. Its grasp was firm, and slowly but surely it began to drag me downwards. I lacked any strength or control over my body – I couldn't even struggle against it. Down, down, down it pulled me. Down, into a nightmare far worse than anything the Kaiser could have constructed. I had been dragged all the way to Hell.
Why had I been sentenced to this fate? Who am I, a mere plush dog, to answer that question? I know not the reason for my punishment, nor do I truly know or understand what this 'Hell' was. A supernatural realm? Or was it my state of mind? I'm afraid these questions are beyond me. All that I can do is to recount my experience – you, dear reader, will have to make up your own mind.
Chapter 2
I awoke within a cell, ironically numbered with the moniker '44'. Alone, I suffered in that cell for what felt like an eternity. No fire or brimstone, no personal demons – just emptiness. At long last, though, a strange man obscured by the darkness appeared and opened my cell door. He spoke strangely as well; had a monotone voice that just didn't quite sound human. He informed me that I had been in solitary confinement for 6 months, and that he was taking me to the aptly named 'Creative Punishment Room C'. We soon arrived, and I was instructed to sit down. Too weak to disagree, I followed the command and sat. Immediately, I was immobilised – resistance was futile, it seemed. There were many punishments, one after the other. Any normal man would have been driven insane, but not me – for I was already a broken husk of my former self. I recall that I did not even blink – my eyes stared vacantly into the dark abyss, ignoring every trial the punishments threw at me. How can you torture someone that has nothing left, after all?
First, my gluttony was tested. A Scooby Snack tied to a string was dangled back and forth in front of me. But I yielded no response. And so 'they' (whoever 'they' were) changed tactics. This time, they projected a film onto a screen, 'Threads' by Barry Hines, trying to extract an emotional response from me. You see, that film reminds me of my brother. However, I was too far gone to care – all they got was more despondency. Another change of tactics – they tried to cause me pain and agony by literally cooking me alive in a microwave. I burned, but still my eyes remained clear and empty, starring into the nether. Their next attempt was their last. They hooked me up to a music system, stuck headphones to my ears, and played some of the most awful music ever crafted by mankind – so bad that I'm inclined to believe it was designed as a torture device. As my ears bled to the harsh tones, though, I remained soulless and empty. Finally, they relinquished their efforts and placed me back into my cell. 6 months later (or so I am told) though, something changed.
Chapter 3
For reasons unknown to myself, I was released from Hell and returned to the world of the living. Up, up, up I flew through the darkness and emerged into the dazzling light of the Sun. What a wonderful thing, to finally be free once more. The blinding rays of light returned something to me almost instantaneously –my vigour, my soul; I was restored…no, far better than that…
I was alive!
…But what now? I sat by my grave for a time, pondering what to do now. I knew that I was tired of political struggles and my war with the Kaiser. As I stood, a wrinkled piece of paper fell out onto the ground. I picked it up, and carefully unfolded the frail sheet. It was a note, short and simple: "Umina – Find me." I couldn't believe that the note had survived the horrors alongside me. Even though it was a long-shot, I decided to set out for Umina to find him. It wasn't going to be easy though. The Kaiser's dictatorship had turned the world into a dystopia – people were desperate, and crime was rampant. Regardless of the challenges, I put the note back in my pocket and set off on my quest.
Luck, it seems though, was not on my side.
I spent two wretched days wandering the urban ghettos. I was mugged, beaten, ignored, and my resolve was wavering. I made my way to the waterfront – at least the Kaiser had not yet robbed nature of her beauty. Once more, I unfurled the note. Across the lake, I could see my goal – so close, and yet so far…
Chapter 4
My resolve strengthened once more, I returned to the roads and tried to gain help from passersby. I waited, paw out-stretched, for hours on end. But not a single car stopped. The world was different then you see, dear reader – people were trapped in their own little worlds…and they cared little for those outside them. Now, that is not to say that people were bad. Oh no - not by any means. But they cared about themselves first and foremost – they looked inwards, towards themselves, rather than out at the great wide world and all the others that inhabit it. And who could blame them? The world was a horrible mess, thanks to the regime of the Kaiser. Why not escape into your own safe little world, rather than face the horrors of everyday life?
Still without a ride, I decided to change tactics. I made a small sign and offered my services to anyone that would drive me to Umina. Exactly what those services were…I'd rather not record in this journal. But that too failed to attract attention from the cars passing by. I abandoned my sign and sat, resting in a gutter. However, at long last one person did stop for me. He opened the door, lifted me up to my seat, and helped me get strapped in. After my time wandering the streets, this act of kindness helped to bolster my spirits greatly. I informed him that I wished to travel to Umina, and he agreed to take me there. Finally I was on my way. As I sat there, I suddenly realised how exhausted I felt. My eyes grew heavy and I slowly began to fall asleep. But one thought kept me awake throughout the journey…"Brother…after all this time, will you still be waiting for me when I arrive?"
In the Service of the Kaiser
I have told you the history of the Kaiser himself, but there is another figure in my tale whose story should be told – his minion. The Kaiser has always surrounded himself with people whose loyalty could be bought with wealth and privilege to carry out his more menial tasks – but this latest incarnation in a long line of sycophants is a little bit different.
The minion was abandoned as a baby by his parents, and was found by none other than the Kaiser. Why he took the child in I shall never know, but take the boy into his home he did. The Kaiser raised him from an infant - not as a son but as a slave. He never even gave the child a name. And yet, the Kaiser is all the minion has ever had – the one consistent thing in his life. The minion grew up idolising the Kaiser, thinking of him as a Father-figure of sorts. Whilst the Kaiser did not treat his minion well, he was never cruel to the boy and did provide for his basic needs – food, lodging, and education. And this made the minion loyal to the Kaiser – far more so than money and power could ever make a normal man.
When the Kaiser came into power, he did not forget his young subordinate. Whilst I highly doubt that the Kaiser ever truly cared about the man, his reward was great. The minion was given a high seat of power in the new regime, and with it came many comforts that were new to him. The Kaiser continued to keep him close-by, but overall the minion had gained the freedom to do what he wanted…unless his master called, that is.
Curious about his past (the Kaiser had never made any secret of the fact that he was adopted), the minion decided to take this opportunity to track down his biological parents. It took many years and the expenditure of much wealth, but eventually…he succeeded. However, this would not be a happy reunion.
The Kaiser had found a group of rebels and instructed his minion to eliminate them. As always, the Kaiser's forces were ruthlessly efficient. It wasn't long before the rebels had been annihilated. Whilst inspecting the bodies, however, the minion found something horrible – his parents were among the dead. They had been among the many that opposed the Kaiser's regime. Exactly how this discovery impacted on the minion…we shall never know.
Regardless of these events, his loyalty to the Kaiser remained until the end. The minion may have been my enemy, but the loyalty and service he gave to the Kaiser, the only Father he's ever known…well now that is something even I can respect.
My Brother
So…you want to know about 'Britty', eh? Feh…Forcing this old dog to bring up painful memories…Well, I guess I can't blame you for being curious. And I suppose, after all, his tale is an important one. Alright, alright… you've twisted my paw.
I grew up in an orphanage you see, and my one friend there was a boy named Britannicus…or 'Britty' for short. Although I was a few years older than him, we grew up together – we were just like brothers. I would often tell him stories of my imaginary exploits – even then I was an avid storyteller, you see. He especially loved the ones about solving mysteries.
We were always close…and after the Kaiser took power, we became even closer. He convinced me that the Kaiser had to be stopped; that we had to step up and create an organised resistance movement if things were going to go back to the way they were. Britty never did much like politics. Together, we formed the rebellion and vowed to end the Kaiser's reign of terror. Things went very well at first. We had the Kaiser on the ropes…or so we thought. He retaliated, and the casualties were immense. But nevertheless, we pushed on. We had to 'free the world', as he put it, after all.
On the day I was captured by the Kaiser's minion, I was on my way to meet with Britty. He had sent me a note; told me to meet him in Umina. Now, you know what happened to me next…and I'd prefer not to repeat describing that experience. However, what I did not learn until…far too late…was that Britty had learned of my capture, and tried to rescue me. He went to our headquarters and tried to convince everyone to go on a daring rescue. They told him to wait, to plan…but he was brash. He knew what the Kaiser did to prisoners. He wanted to save me from that fate. Alone, he broke into the Kaiser's prison complex. He fought his way through floor after floor of guards, searching for me. The hallway…that blasted hallway… - that's how far he made it before he was finally gunned down by the full might of the Kaiser's security force. He died mere metres from me…and I never even knew.
…He was a damn fool, that Britty…damn bloody fool…
With both its leaders dead, the Rebellion broke in a matter of months. All that we had strived for, all the men and women that had fought beside us - everything was ruined…and everyone was dead. I'd like to say I regret nothing; that in the end it was all worth it, but…that just wouldn't be true. If we hadn't ever formed that rebellion, then maybe…maybe he'd still be here today.
Ah…but you don't need to listen to the ramblings of this old dog…
…Excuse me a moment, won't you dear reader? I…I think I need some rest...
Yes…rest…
Operation SCOOBY Novelisation
Chapter 1
The fan spun softly, sitting low underneath the tall ceiling but still high above my head. I sat quietly on the cream lounge, waiting for my host to return from his kitchen. It wasn't long before he appeared. As he walked towards me, tea cup in hand, I noticed that his long, purposeful strides showed a vigour that wasn't present when I first turned up at his door. I suppose he was grateful for the company, even if I was a stranger. As the man sat down on the lounge opposite mine, he began to speak. "So, Mr…Doo, was it? What can I do for you?"
I took a deep breath before answering – as you now know, dear reader; my tale is one that takes some explaining. I told him everything – the Kaiser, my death, my rebirth, Britty…well, almost everything – I left out the part about the rebellion. "That's…quite a tale, Mr. Doo." There was a long silence after my story was spun. To break it, I took out the note that Britty had left me and handed it to the man, letting him read it for himself, hoping that it in some way validated my story.
Now before I go on, dear reader, I'm sure you're wondering – just who is this man? Ah, now that is, for once, a simple answer. After making it to Umina, I was searching for Britty. This man, you see, lived just across the road from Brittanicus' old house – my old friend had spoken of him as a kind neighbour. Hoping to find some clue as to Brittanicus' whereabouts, I visited him.
"I'm afraid I can't help you." The man said, breaking the silence. "I haven't seen your friend in; let's see…a little over a year now. It was odd. One night, some vans turned up at his house – Kaiser's men, no doubt. Cleaned the place out and left it derelict – no one's been in there since." My heart sank at this news – Brittanicus, it seemed, had not been in Umina since I last saw him. Seeing my disappointment, the man continued to speak. "I don't know what happened to your friend, Mr. Doo, but if the Kaiser is involved, I doubt that you'll ever see him again."
It was a harsh statement, yes, but this was a fact of life under the Kaiser's regime. People would often go missing – rebels, conscientious objectors, people that were too smart for their own good. Attachment to others was considered a risk, and very few friends were made back then. Empty, lonely, paranoid, and loyal – that is how the Kaiser liked his pets.
"I think it's time for you to leave." The man stood and showed me to the door. I could see his fear – perhaps he thought that by speaking to me, he was putting himself at risk of 'disappearing' too. I left his house with a heavy heart, but I was not going to let myself become dismayed – there was still hope, and my search would continue.
Chapter 2
After leaving the house, I decided that I was unlikely to find anything else about Brittanicus in Umina, and so began my journey out of the city on-foot. However, having learned of my return, just across the lake, the Kaiser and his minion were hunting me.
Now before continuing, I suppose I should describe the Kaiser's current incarnation. His form was young, around 18 years of age, but still effortlessly commanded authority and displayed a dark ruthlessness. He retained his beard – a trademark of sorts - although its growth was far thinner than that of his past hosts. His eyes were masked by a pair of pitch black sunglasses – the Kaiser had grown to dislike the sunlight. And finally, as he had done since the Second World War, he wore his signature black trench-coat – a relic, symbolic of authority, that he gained through committing great bloodshed (but that in itself is a story for another time). But now, what of the poor minion? He had curly hair and a beard similar to the Kaiser's. Emulating his master, the minion wore a long grey trench-coat that, whilst still impressive, clearly denoted him as being worth less than the Kaiser.
As the two men walked side-by-side under the burning sun, the minion read out a list of accounts from passers-by that had witnessed me on my journey to Umina. "Well my Kaiser, we have unconfirmed reports of Scooby Doo being sighted in Gundagai and…Gosford…Wyong…Narara…" The list was full of conflicting reports – I could have been anywhere on the coast. Without warning, the Kaiser stopped dead in his tracks (the minion continued walking for a time after this before realising the lack of his master's presence) and turned to face the water. He now stood on the same hill that I had a mere two days ago, staring out over the water and into the heart of Umina. Slowly he raised his hand up until it lay in front of his face, blocking the city from his vision.
Now, it is important here to note that the Kaiser always spoke in German. It was not that he couldn't speak English (or a great many other languages for that matter), but simply that the language of his namesake was his preference. For your convenience, dear reader, I have translated the words he spoke into English.
"Scooby, Scooby Doo…Where are you?" His words echoed across the lake, reverberating throughout his natural surroundings. As the Kaiser spoke these last words, he clenched his hand into a fist – from his point of view, it looked as if he was crushing the city across the lake in his hand. Now, you may ask, why did he perform this seemingly pointless action? The answer is simply that – he 'performed' it. Remember, the Kaiser had once been William Shakespeare. Even in this wretched form he was still, at heart, a man of drama and the theatre. The minion was used to the Kaiser making scenes like this, and knew his place as audience well.
After a short pause, the Kaiser quickly turned on the stop to face his minion. "Where was he last sighted?" The minion was surprised by the sudden action, but quickly regained his composure before replying "Umina, my Kaiser." For the briefest of moments, a twisted smile appeared on the Kaiser's face. He once more began walking, striding straight past the minion, and started to speak. "Ready the guns…" the Kaiser calmly ordered. "Umina shall burn."
It had turned to night when the order was finally carried out. The fuse of the first gun was lit. Hundreds of fiery yellow sparks emitted from the bottom of the mechanism and then the first shot was finally launched. It went streaking through the air, emitting a tail of red, orange and yellow as it travelled silently, higher…further…faster...
BOOM!
The shot burst into a spray of flame, lighting up the entire city of Umina. The sound travelled fast, and as soon as my plush ears heard it, I knew exactly what it was – the Kaiser was using fireworks.
Now I'm sure I know what you're thinking here – 'Fireworks? What's so dangerous or deadly about them?' Well, dear reader, you have obviously never seen the Kaiser's fireworks. Much like a traditional firework, these burst into a shower of beautiful, glittering lights before dissipating into darkness – however, the Kaiser's leave something behind: A deadly compound designed by Shakespeurtin's weapons division. This compound falls to the ground – it lays silent on the pavement, the roads, the grass, on the roofs of cars and houses. Then, it ignites – everything that it touches is set ablaze and the compound spreads the flames to every corner of the targeted area. Within an hour, an entire city can be set ablaze. After three, most of the buildings will have been destroyed and a majority of the populace burnt alive. Wait five hours, and little more than ashes will remain of that city. This was to be the fate of Umina.
Knowing all this, the moment I heard that sound I ran. I ran, and ran, and ran until my stubby little legs couldn't run anymore. I saw the fireworks burn and crackle in the sky above; heard the explosions overhead and the screams of the poor civilians who had been set alight and were burning with their homes – but I did not stop running. I managed to escape unscathed into a thick patch of bush on the outskirts of the city. But none else were so lucky.
On that day, Umina was burnt to the ground – and I didn't care.
Chapter 3
'Why?' you may ask (or more strongly, perhaps 'How could you?'). What kind of plush dog is it that can walk away from a burning city, leaving hundreds of dead in their wake, totally un-phased? Dear reader, you may have had the impression that I was the hero of this story (at least, that's what history would endeavour to make you believe) but in truth, I was little better than the Kaiser. Both of us were trying to complete a selfish and personal goal and we both cared nothing for those who got in our way. Just because I didn't intend for death and destruction doesn't mean that I'm cleared of all blame. My presence in Umina was the reason for the Kaiser's bombardment.
None of these thoughts had yet arisen in my mind as I wandered through the dense bush – but it was not long before the full repercussions for my actions would come to bear. For many hours I marched under the trees, disturbing the wildlife that rested below the thick fallout of leaves and braches covering the ground (including one particularly unhappy snake; angry at the Kaiser's fireworks for disturbing his sleep but directing his anger at me). It wasn't long before night turned to dawn, and dawn to day – at which time, I finally came to the end of my trek through the brush.
After overcoming the blinding light of the sun (for being immersed in the thick bush for so many hours had made my eyes accustomed to the darkness) I found myself on the rocks near the water - around the other side of the lake that sat next to Umina. I sat on those rocks for a short time, taking in the marvellous scene. It is no secret that I have always liked being near the water, and after the events of the previous night I found it to be quite a rejuvenating experience. Now that I knew the Kaiser was after me, however, there was little chance for rest. I rose to my feet and resumed my journey.
At the same time, only a few miles away, the Kaiser sat in the back seat of his car, silently awaiting news of my death. The door opened and the minion stepped into the driver's seat, but the Kaiser didn't so much as open his eyes. He did, however, flinch when he learned that I was still alive. It would seem a survivor of the catastrophe witnessed my escape. In the more colourful words of the minion, "My Kaiser, Scooby Doo has fled into the woods like the dog that he is. If we hurry, we can catch him at the old cemetery". Even though the news had taken him by surprise, the Kaiser remained silent and motionless. "Err…My Kaiser? Shouldn't we go after him?" Finally, the Kaiser responded, but not in the way the minion was expecting. "No." Confused, but having learned better than to question the orders of his master, the minion turned around, started up the car, and drove away.
Chapter 4
I came upon a small set of stone steps which lead up to a thin, winding road of concrete, reinforced by long wooden planks to ensure that nature would not quickly regain the land. After passing these, I found myself on a gravel path in the midst of an old graveyard. Many of these gravestones were old – very old. But one in particular caught my eye. It was weathered, but still much younger and clearer than its nearby siblings. Some plant-life had grown over the top of it, covering the stone slab with a myriad of green and red leaves. I don't know what it was that compelled me to do so, but with my paw I carefully brushed aside the shrubbery. It was then that my heart stopped and my mind went blank. On the grave was a simple inscription, but one that I had only seen in my darkest nightmares. 'R.I.P Brittanicus' – my brother was no more.
I don't remember when it happened, but I found myself collapsed on the ground, staring up into the dark, ominous sky. What had it all been for? I had been so obsessed with finding Brittanicus – the sheer notion that he was dead…I simply could not accept it. My mind was a chaotic mess of empty thoughts and promises. But then, a memory shone through the darkness. I remembered one time when I fell down as a child and hurt my ankle. Brittanicus scooped me up in and his hands and carried me to a nearby seat. I suddenly felt strength, and I picked myself up off the ground.
I stumbled a short distance, my mind a storm of memories, thoughts, and regrets. For the first time, I reflected on the people of Umina, the kind home-owner whom I had met the previous day, and the many others who had died because of my actions (for it was not the first city to burn in the Kaiser's search for the rebellion). The fact that I put them in danger was bad enough; but the notion that I didn't even care that their lives had been extinguished...I looked down at my paws and simply, quietly asked myself the question – "What have I become?"
I wished that I had someone to pose that question to; someone that could reassure or even condemn me. But I didn't. I was alone – now I didn't have a single friend in the world. Another memory shot to the forefront of my mind. I recalled one occasion when Brittanicus and I sat on the edge of the waterfront, dangling our feet over the edge and eating from a large tub of ice cream (this was prior to the Kaiser's rule, you see). I made a joke – I can't even remember what it was, but it made Britty laugh long and hard. The memory of that moment made me feel warm…It was almost as though I could see him there with me in the graveyard.
But he wasn't…he was dead. I tried to imagine exactly how he could have died. Now if you have read the rest of my tale, dear reader, you know the details but at that time I knew nothing. I imagined him being gunned down by the Kaiser's men in some daring crusade against one of Shakespeurtin's facilities (if only I'd known how close I was to the truth I actually was) – he was far too stubborn to be killed by anything other than a rain of bullets.
I continued to stumble around the graveyard and happened upon a park bench. I sat down there and pondered. "If only I could start again…" I thought to myself. "I could…I would find a way to save him. If only…" Then, in the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, I heard a mocking voice. "You have nothing left now, eh Scooby?" My mind, it seemed, had made the Kaiser the embodiment of my internal darkness. Again it spoke "Isn't it time for you to give up?"…and then it faded away.
In the depths of my despair, I decided what to do. I would find the Kaiser…and let him kill me.
Chapter 5
I began a solemn march through the graveyard and beyond. I was resolute in my decision – no one else was going to die because of me. As I walked past the gravestones, plants, and pillars of wood that decorated the area, I recalled all the tragic events that led me to this point. My parents…the orphanage…Britty and the rebellion…that blasted hallway…my execution…my delirium…my burial…my imprisonment…my torture…my escape…the note…my journey to Umina…and the events of the last few hours. Premature though it was, my life truly flashed before my eyes. I walked past houses, roads, and cars, lead on my path by some strange feeling, before finally I reached a little hill that lead down to the water. As I walked closer, I saw two shapes take form in the distance, getting progressively closer to me. I had found the Kaiser and his minion – and my end was now set in stone.
We stood a mere few metres apart for the first time in years. The Kaiser took the first step towards me. "So you have accepted your fate, eh?" His pace quickened. "Very well!" I felt a sharp pain as the Kaiser's foot collided with my face and sent me tumbling to the ground. The Kaiser waited, taking a pause before continuing my punishment. I looked up and saw him towering above me – the very sky above appeared to darken through his presence.
The Kaiser leant down closer to me. "I am the Fuhrer!" He stomped his foot hard onto my body, crushing me effortlessly. "I am the Kaiser!" Again! "I am Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III!" This time he kicked me, sending me flying across the ground before landing with a thud once more on the hard asphalt. He walked over to my broken body, but this time the minion also made a move (once more playing the role of audience to the Kaiser's great victory).
The rain was now coming down hard. My body was numb from the beating, but my face felt the icy touch of each drop. I was only barely aware of what was going on around me anymore. The Kaiser, circling me like a shark ready for the kill, continued to taunt. "If death is what you desire, then I shall gladly give it to you!" Once more, he stomped hard on my battered and broken body. Having enjoyed the dramatic performance, the Kaiser was now ready to end it. He took out a pistol from his trench-coats pocket and held it aloft at my face. "It's over."
The shot rang out through the town and across the water – and my life was ended.
Chapter 6
I found myself in a completely white expanse – I could not see anything, not even my own paws in front of me. Any movements I made felt strange, as if I was moving both fast and slowly; falling and rising; walking left and right – it was almost as though I was moving outside of time and space. I turned back and forth, trying to glimpse some break in the infinity.
And then, the white expanse began to swirl around me like a gust of wind. I felt a presence draw near – although exactly what, I could not say. It spoke to me…and yet, it didn't. I knew the words and their meanings, although no language did it speak. Each syllable brought with it a sense of comfort, purpose…and familiarity – almost nostalgia. What did I hear, dear reader? Seven words..."Scooby, you must go back. It's…critical." A vitality and strength that I had not felt in a long time surged within me – and I knew what I had to do.
The white expanse began to dissipate, and with it's disappearance came the return of my senses. The first thing I noticed was the feel of grass under my feet, and the reeds that were touching my face. I was a field, covered in overgrowth far exceeding my height. The time I spent there felt like an eternity – wandering through the dandelions, reeds, and thickets. But eventually, I pushed my way through one final piece of the brush and saw the sky.
I had returned.
Now dear reader, before I continue you must understand – like my experience in 'Hell', I truly do not know what this account details. Some form of Heaven? A mental illusion? Who is to say? For it seems that in my life-time, regardless of all the advancements we have made, that the mysteries of this world remain deep, plentiful, and undisturbed.
Chapter 7
Whilst I slept, only a few moments had passed. The Kaiser, having handed his gun to the minion, was walking away. "M-m-m-my Kaiser! He's-" The minion was the first to notice my return. I rose to my feet quickly, and stared defiantly at the Kaiser. "So…you're still alive." The Kaiser turned and began to walk towards me. "However…you have escaped death for the last time!" The Kaiser stopped mid-stride, removed his trench-coat, and threw it disparagingly to the minion, who only barely managed to catch it.
We stared each-other down. As I looked into those cold, dark eyes I saw only the shell of a man. Whatever joy, kindness, wit, or love that he had once possessed was long dead. I knew that I had to put an end to him. But still I wondered…when he looked into my eyes, did he not see much the same thing? While history paints our battle as a great triumph of good over evil, in truth it was but two cold, broken, old men fighting to the death – one for hatred, the other for vengeance.
Shakespeurtin snapped and lunged at me with a forceful punch. I swiftly dodged, moving like a flash of lightning and circling round behind him – the Kaiser's fist found only the hard ground. I had no idea how I did it – I was a skilled fighter in the rebellion, and my size had always been handy in bewildering my opponent, but never had I moved so quickly. My foe was just as bewildered as I was, scouring the ground for my position, but soon he found me and our battle continued.
The rain was heavy now – I felt the cold of each drop on my plush skin. The Kaiser ran towards me and attempted to knock me down with a kick. I leapt high above the ground, avoiding his attack, and rolled around behind him. Like my speed, I found that I could now reach tremendous heights, especially for my stature. Once more, the Kaiser was confused by my disappearance. I decided to take advantage of this, as well as my newfound agility.
I taunted the Kaiser, leaping up behind him and then disappearing when he tried to attack me. The final punch, however, nearly reached its mark, flying just above my head. I grasped it with my paw and pulled myself up onto his out-stretched arm. As I ran towards his head, I could see the mix of rage and disbelief in Shakespeurtin's features. Drawing my arm back, I let fly a devastating punch into the Kaiser's face. As he stumbled backwards, I dropped from his arm. However, he was quick.
The Kaiser lunged; gripping my neck and holding me limp in mid-air. I struggled, but his grip was tight. But then, I bit down hard on his finger. Cursing, he threw me to the ground. As I regained my breath, I saw Shakespeurtin draw a long, sharp silver knife from his pocket – he would fight dirty, after all. With a flick of his wrist and expert precision, he threw the blade at me. It swiftly tore through the air, hurtling towards my face. But it had no chance of finding its mark while it was against my new-found abilities. I caught the knife in my paw, and spun around, redistributing the weight and preparing for my final assault.
These next moments felt like they lasted an eternity – it was like I perceived things outside the flow of time. I studied my foe for a moment: Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III - the man who had brought the human race to its knees and made the world his; the man who had taken everything from me. I held in my paws the tool of his demise. I felt the cool metal on my skin, flexed my fingers on its hilt, saw the rain drops run down its length, coating the blade in liquid.
My feet left the ground and I hurtled in the air towards the Kaiser. As I flew, I reflected on every single event that had lead up to this point – so many images flashed before my eyes. And then, in a moment, it was over. My blade pierced his flesh and he fell to the ground. I stood on top of him and continued to plunge the cold metal deeper into his chest. I could feel the blood on my paws. As the last bit of strength left his body, I looked deep into his eyes. Even faced with death, those eyes were still just as cold and dark as they had always been – there was nothing behind them. And then I understood. In the end, it seems, the Kaiser was simply a part that Shakespeurtin was playing.
Chapter 8
"My Kaiser!" The minion ran over and fell to his knees in front of Shakespeurtin's broken body. I had already moved away and now stood with my back to them. He pulled the knife out, tossing it away onto the grass, and rested a hand on the Kaiser's chest. Trembling, he picked up the Kaiser's pistol, and rose. "SCOOBY!" he rang out, the pain in his voice curdling my stuffing. He pointed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger over and over again – but the gun was empty. He continued to pull the trigger -the 'click' of the mechanism sounding over and over again - but it was in vain. He threw the gun to the ground and once more collapsed on his knees. The world may have celebrated the Kaiser's death, but not the minion. He mourned the death of the man who raised him, the man he had always looked up to – the man he loved as a Father.
I began to walk away. But as I walked, I heard the Kaiser speak his last words to the minion. The Kaiser grasped the minion's back, hauling himself up. With his final breath, he spoke four little words – "The Hippos…are coming." If only I had known at the time how important those few, strange words would be in the coming years. Regardless, the Kaiser fell to the ground. Finally, at long last, he was dead.
Slowly, the minion stood and turned away from the body of his master. After removing his own grey trench-coat, the minion took up the mantle of the Kaiser, putting on the signature black coat. He walked away down the road, leaving Shakespeurtin's body to the elements.
Chapter 9
I turned the ignition key and the engine roared to life. Sticking my head out the window, I took one last look at the site of the battle before driving off. I had unfinished business that I had to take care of, and for this purpose I had commandeered the Kaiser's car. I drove down a familiar path, following the road I had taken on my death march only an hour ago. This journey was certainly not as dark, but it was no less sombre.
I pulled up in front of the Graveyard and got out of the car. I continued to follow my path on foot. Along the way, I noticed a bush filled with white, blooming flowers. I picked one and continued silently on my way. After passing many memorials to those long gone, I reached my destination.
Brittanicus' gravestone was just the way I had left it, of course. I think I was expecting some difference – so much had happened in so short a time, after all. I sat and starred at the grave for a time and once more reflected on my life. After an hour or so, I arose and walked away – leaving behind a single white flower, and the note that Brittanicus had written to me over a year ago.
"Goodbye…old friend."
Tales of a Plush Dog
So, after all is said and done, there is but one last story to tell. No need to be coy now, dear reader, I know what you want to hear – who is Scooby Doo? Where did he come from? What's his story? Heh…fine. Gather 'round and I'll tell you just who this old dog is.
Now, I've told you before that I grew up in an orphanage, but how does one get to an orphanage? I was young when it happened. My parents were very well-to-do – made their fortune selling stock after the war. Their riches made them big players in New York, and they attracted all kinds of attention from people who wanted funding. One such person was Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III. Trying to build up his support base before he put his master plan into action, Shakespeurtin made deals with the rich and powerful from all over the world. Unfortunately, my family fit that description perfectly.
The Kaiser met with my parents; revealed his history, his abilities, and his plan to them. When my father refused to be a part of the plan, Shakespeurtin did the unthinkable – he killed them…killed them both in cold blood. Not only did he steal their lives, but also their wallets – their bank accounts were drained suddenly and silently.
Where was I in all this, you may ask? I was right there, with my parents. I watched them die…The Kaiser directed his cold smile at me, and stared his deathless eyes into mine. I'll never forget those eyes…it was like they belonged to another person; reflecting all the ages of hatred and anger that had punctuated the Kaiser's long life. They were the cage that held the beast – a beast whose ferocity and malice towards all who stand against him would one day bring the world to the brink of destruction. Why did the Kaiser spare me? It wasn't compassion or regret; no…this man wanted me to keep on living, to suffer for the decision of my father.
Shakespeurtin sent me to an orphanage across the sea in Australia – the most remote place in western society you could possibly send a plush dog. I introduced myself as Scoobert Doo (my full name), but everyone just called me Scooby. After so many years living there, the name just kind of stuck. Times were tough, but it wasn't all bad. Thanks to my friendship with Britty and the other kids at the orphanage who knew nothing of my background, I could hide from my past – pretend that I was someone else. I grew up and lead a normal life – at least, as normal a life as an orphan plush dog can lead.
Earlier in this tale, I told you dear reader that Britty was the one that convinced me to form the rebellion. Well…that's only partly true. Saving the world was all fine and dandy, but what I really wanted was revenge – for my parents…and for the life I lost that day. I was young, short-sighted and terribly foolish. That decision may have saved the world, but it also cost me the closest thing to family I had left.
Mine is a truly ironic story. If my parents hadn't opposed Shakespeurtin, I would have led a life of wealth and privilege, and might have worked for the Kaiser's regime. What if I had been the one to pull the trigger which killed Britty and so many other rebels that, in this reality, I called friends? And what if I had not formed the rebellion? Would the world have been saved by another? Or would the Kaiser have continued to rule the dystopian wasteland he called an empire? I wonder…oh how I wonder, dear reader…
…Has my life ever truly been mine to lead?
The Truth
And so, dear reader, that is my story…
This is my story…
This is just a story…
Nothing…
Hehehehehehe…
My name is Scooby Doo…
Hahahahahaha...
…and this is the story of how I died…
Ratatata…Ratatata…
…and this is the story of how I lived…
…damn fool, that Britty…
…and this is the story of how I lied…
Here lies Brittanicus…
…Kaiser Wilhelm von Shakespeurtin III…
What are you?…
…Liar…
Keheheh…kahahaha…
It's all an illusion…
Hee hee hee…
The Kaiser…myself…and…
"The hallway…that blasted hallway…"
…You.
The story's over for now! Thanks for reading, everyone, and make sure you keep an eye out for Scooby's next adventure – the Hippos are coming…
