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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 1, 2018 0:14:08 GMT -5
Yes, it definitely helps! Sorry if I'm not clear. One of the things I personally liked in your initial idea is that it was sort of similar to Shaggy, Scooby and Scrappy (all non-magical people) meeting the girl ghouls. They both had never seen real supernatural creatures before (well, continuity wise Shaggy and the dogs have, but they act like they haven't so let's just stick with that for sake of argument), so it would take them a bit to warm up to the girl ghouls. Just thought that parallel was cool. For me personally, yeah, the OK K.O. episode strayed in the sense that I felt Sibella and Tanis were both out of character. I think the fact that you don't think it strays says a lot, and obviously you should go with how you think/feel. Fanfics would be really boring if everyone had the same writing style, and the cool thing about fanfiction is that everyone has a different vision of what they feel is the right tone for their personal story. 1. Well, I wouldn't say it's magical, more like empowered. It could be the same as they've never seen a ghoul girl/monster if that make sense? 2. Oh, well I mean, did O.K KO. stray from the feel with empowered beings(Enid(ninja)) meeting with the monsters and also having that 'fight'/clash with the monster tree is what I was asking about. If I gave them powers,it'd be something like that. But I do want this as a ghoul school story, so would it feel less like that if I did?
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Post by Doo on Nov 1, 2018 10:56:59 GMT -5
1. Yes, that makes sense.
2. It wouldn't feel less like that, but I guess if it were me, I would also label it as an OK K.O. fic (like a crossover between the two) since you're taking that element from the series. Does that make sense?
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 1, 2018 23:22:24 GMT -5
1. Yes, that makes sense. 2. It wouldn't feel less like that, but I guess if it were me, I would also label it as an OK K.O. fic (like a crossover between the two) since you're taking that element from the series. Does that make sense? 1. So if they are empowered(not magical), and met ghouls, it could work like the original feel 2. As I said, I want it to be more like of a ghoul school story. Like I just want them empowered. Is there way for it not to feel like a crossover if I go that angle. Like it's more inspired by it per say, not really elements
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Post by Doo on Nov 2, 2018 7:53:27 GMT -5
Yes and yes! I wasn't thinking about the possibility of it being inspired by Ghoul School, but I think that's a great way of not making it seem like a crossover!
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 2, 2018 22:28:12 GMT -5
Yes and yes! I wasn't thinking about the possibility of it being inspired by Ghoul School, but I think that's a great way of not making it seem like a crossover! Oh, could you elaborate on the last point? I don't mean they are monsters or anything. I meant the story feels like a ghoul school story.
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Post by Doo on Nov 3, 2018 9:43:42 GMT -5
No problem, yes it definitely feels like an inherently Ghoul School story with little aspects of OK K.O. intertwined. If it helps, my fanfic is similar as it is a Ghoul School story which combines coming-of-age type themes (more so in the next chapters that aren't published yet).
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 4, 2018 23:56:11 GMT -5
No problem, yes it definitely feels like an inherently Ghoul School story with little aspects of OK K.O. intertwined. If it helps, my fanfic is similar as it is a Ghoul School story which combines coming-of-age type themes (more so in the next chapters that aren't published yet). Oh, I've seen some of it.Interesting take. So I was wondering, can we discuss chapter ideas then?
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Post by Doo on Nov 5, 2018 8:56:31 GMT -5
Thanks! And yes
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 6, 2018 22:10:47 GMT -5
Thanks! And yes Will reply tomorrow. Little busy today FYIF
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 8, 2018 14:56:20 GMT -5
Thanks! And yes Will reply tomorrow. Little busy today FYIF Hi sorry for the late response. So first things first, I was working on a scenario where the interns meet the girls parents and I imagine they don't get along at first/conflict between them. I imagine(as you saw the first movie the monsters were quite protective of their daughters) they would be wary of them/dislike them due to similiar reasoning(think they aren't well suited to watch over them or for the older girls, think some of them have bad intentions). I was going to showcase this through like a tour where each of the interns give one monster of the school. I just wondering, any ideas where they should take each of them maybe and how these areas can give grounds for conflict?
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Post by Doo on Nov 9, 2018 11:26:32 GMT -5
No worries, real life comes first! You could have them go to some of the locations showcased in "Ghoul School" like the gym, the common room, etc. In my fanfic, if you've read it, there's no conflict with the parents, but I do have an incompetent gym coach for humor related purposes. While it wouldn't necessarily need to be humorous in this case (though it could be), you could have one of them try to teach gym but the parents think they are incompetent. Or, you could have locations that are special to each of the girls (i.e. Tanis's mummy case room, Sybella's coffin, Winnie's gym, Elsa's laboratory and Phantasma's music room) and somehow have one of the interns mess it up, causing the parents to think they are incompetent. Are you introducing the mothers in this fic or just doing the fathers again?
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 10, 2018 0:01:42 GMT -5
No worries, real life comes first! You could have them go to some of the locations showcased in "Ghoul School" like the gym, the common room, etc. In my fanfic, if you've read it, there's no conflict with the parents, but I do have an incompetent gym coach for humor related purposes. While it wouldn't necessarily need to be humorous in this case (though it could be), you could have one of them try to teach gym but the parents think they are incompetent. Or, you could have locations that are special to each of the girls (i.e. Tanis's mummy case room, Sybella's coffin, Winnie's gym, Elsa's laboratory and Phantasma's music room) and somehow have one of the interns mess it up, causing the parents to think they are incompetent. Are you introducing the mothers in this fic or just doing the fathers again? 1. I should elaborate. For context, it's like another parent day where dads visit and the girls and miss grimwood went out to collect supplies for the event, leaving the interns to stay with the dads. Girls aren't there. I do have a google doc with it written. Should I share? 2. Should I do a mixture of special rooms and schools maybe? It's like five seperate mini-tours each one of the interns gives and was looking for reasons they dislike them while on it.
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Post by Doo on Nov 10, 2018 12:53:44 GMT -5
No worries, real life comes first! You could have them go to some of the locations showcased in "Ghoul School" like the gym, the common room, etc. In my fanfic, if you've read it, there's no conflict with the parents, but I do have an incompetent gym coach for humor related purposes. While it wouldn't necessarily need to be humorous in this case (though it could be), you could have one of them try to teach gym but the parents think they are incompetent. Or, you could have locations that are special to each of the girls (i.e. Tanis's mummy case room, Sybella's coffin, Winnie's gym, Elsa's laboratory and Phantasma's music room) and somehow have one of the interns mess it up, causing the parents to think they are incompetent. Are you introducing the mothers in this fic or just doing the fathers again? 1. I should elaborate. For context, it's like another parent day where dads visit and the girls and miss grimwood went out to collect supplies for the event, leaving the interns to stay with the dads. Girls aren't there. I do have a google doc with it written. Should I share? 2. Should I do a mixture of special rooms and schools maybe? It's like five seperate mini-tours each one of the interns gives and was looking for reasons they dislike them while on it. Yes, you are welcome to share. I've PM'ed you my email address. I'm confused though, what other "special" schools would they be in?
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Post by stardustcrusader on Nov 10, 2018 15:49:27 GMT -5
1. I should elaborate. For context, it's like another parent day where dads visit and the girls and miss grimwood went out to collect supplies for the event, leaving the interns to stay with the dads. Girls aren't there. I do have a google doc with it written. Should I share? 2. Should I do a mixture of special rooms and schools maybe? It's like five seperate mini-tours each one of the interns gives and was looking for reasons they dislike them while on it. Yes, you are welcome to share. I've PM'ed you my email address. I'm confused though, what other "special" schools would they be in? Oh no other special schools. They take them to different places around the school is what I meant for the mini tours. Or should it just be one big tour?
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Post by Doo on Nov 12, 2018 16:43:34 GMT -5
Is there a compelling reason why it would need to be mini-tours? If the interns are just showing the dads the same places but in a different order, it doesn't make sense that they would need to split up. Like, what I'm trying to get at is are the tours each visiting a unique location that the other tours aren't going to visit? (i.e. let's say the Mummy's tour goes to see Tanis's mummy case, which the other tours wouldn't visit).
I read your Google Doc, btw. It's definitely a good start, though some dialogue sounds a little forced. To be honest, no offense whatsoever to your friend that wrote in the green text, but IMO his/her additions honestly make the story not as good. The dialogue like "Are those the clothes you died in, or are those ghost made clothes, can clothes die? If you take off your clothes are you still all the same as when you were alive?” just seems over-the-top ridiculous and not even a logical question for them to ask. In your non-green text, the questions were silly but definitely believable and made for some good dialogue.
Also, the green text person's comments seem incredibly nitpicky. The point of a fanfic is to express yourself in whatever writing style that is, and obsessing over if a word sounds forced or not isn't worth your time IMO. The first comment about Mrs. Grimwood leaving (where the green text person says that it doesn't make sense and needs to be deleted) could be easily reworded, it's just slightly clunky-sounding and far from unusable. Only thing he/she said that I agreed with tbh is the comment about why the girls wouldn't be at the dinner party. I also kind of agree with the comment that the parents' fight could be started by the possibility of harm coming to their daughters, as a sort of tangent to how the parents were overprotective in the original film. "The fight can be started then over something simple, such as one of the interns chores is doing laundry and the parents don’t want them touching their daughters undergarments or what have you." - Yeah don't do that please, there's far too many kinky Ghoul School fanfics as there is and this scenario comes across as kinda...creepy...I guess?
No offense to your friend here btw. There are a bunch of typos I noticed as well, though I didn't want to edit anything without your permission.
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